


Total Drama: Some Stars!

by Bored_Commentator



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:57:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bored_Commentator/pseuds/Bored_Commentator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome, one and all to Total. Drama. Some Stars! In this season, taking place after Pahkitew Island, ON Pahkitew Island, competitors from both the original Total Drama Island and Revenge of the Island will be competing. On one team, we'll have contestants that have had many, MANY days in the limelight, and on the other, contestants that seem to get left in the dust and go unnoticed. Who will win? Who will loser? Will a FORTUNE be made from this season? Find out, right now! On Total. Drama. Some Stars!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1 - "Quit Hogging the Camera!"

__

_The episode opens up to a shot of Pahkitew Island in its entirety, as Chris’ opening narration begins._

**Chris:** Last season, on Total Drama: Pahkitew Island…

_The closing shot of Pahkitew Island, featuring Dave sitting alone, bald and about to be attacked by Scuba Bear, appears._

**Chris:** After a truly gripping finale, we totally forgot something _almost_ important!

_Chris, followed by Chef, both decked out in safari gear, wanders through Pahkitew Island._

**Chris:** After the last season’s victor was crowned, Shawn, Sky, and Jasmine left Pahkitew Island with us in our helicopter! Ain’t we nice?

_A shot of Jasmine and Shawn lovingly embracing fills the screen._

**Chris:** Some loved…

_It’s replaced with a shot of Sky, as well as an irate Dave._

**Chris:** Many lost…

_Shots cycle through of the various Cannon Of Shame scenes throughout the season, and closing off more shots of Topher being injured/screwing up than is really necessary._

**Chris:** Eheh, and some lost their _minds_!

_And there are shots of Scarlett removing her glasses and untying her hair, Dave laughing at the expense of the finalists, Rodney being assaulted by Clucky the Chicken, Sugar’s show of “Craptry,” and Amy revealing herself as the mossy creature._

**Chris:** None of that matters this season, though! Those contestants are off the island and back to their lives! However…

_Something leaps out at Chef from the forest, who quickly fires his pasta bazooka at the shape, pinning it against a nearby tree. Chef blows smoke from the barrel._

**Chris:** Speak of the devil, eh? We were just looking for ya, Dave!

_The shape entrapped in pasta is revealed to be Dave, whose hair hasn’t grown back at all. He doesn’t really have any major physical changes from when we last saw him._

**Dave:** Chris! You came back! Is-is it to tell me that the million dollars weren’t won after all? Do I get to rub it in Sky’s face?!

_Dave grins madly and tries to pound his fist into his other hand, but can’t quite reach in this position._

**Chris:** Haha, of course not! Shawn won it and bailed. We just needed the island, and we’re having a little trouble recruiting interns. Funny what a long history of lawsuits can do to your search for unpaid labor.

 **Dave:** [ _frowning_ ] Wait, so you’re saying…

 **Chris:** Hope ya like red!

_Chef Hatchet is revealed to be holding up an intern’s uniform._

**Dave:** _Noooooooooooooooooo!_

 **Chr** is: With that out of the way, we can move on to people that matter...and people that don’t! Right now on Total. Drama. Some Stars!

_Dave’s exclamation continues until the cut to opening credits._

 

_\--Opening Riff--_

A bunch of cameras pop out throughout the island.

_Dear mom and dad I’m doin’ fine_

The shot zooms in on Pahkitew Island, passing Dave, still bald, as well as in an interns’ uniform, being used as a footrest by Chris.

_You guys are on my mind_

The obligatory shot of Owen under the water appears, his noxious fumes destroying a robotic shark.

_You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see_

The robotic shark’s head flies out of lands next to Courtney and Scott, causing him to freak out and turn around, seeing Izzy. His expression only becomes more terrified. He runs in terror and she chases him.

_I wanna be famous_

Mike sees Scott’s dilemma and laughs, earning a disgruntled look from Zoey.

_I wanna live close to the sun_

Cut to the top of the mountain thing. Anne Maria and Heather are skiing down when the sun reflects off of Anne Maria’s hair and blinds Heather.

_Go pack your bags, 'cause I’ve already won_

Heather careens comically down the mountain, landing nearby Tyler and Eva.

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

Tyler and Eva start racing, only for Tyler to immediately trip over his shoelace and faceplant as Eva continues.

_I’ll get there one day_

Brick salutes Eva as she runs by. He seems to be building something, and he accidentally hammers his own thumb.

_Cause I wanna be famous_

Dawn is meditating, surrounded by robotic animals. She looks disgruntled, then fearful upon the animals’ turning towards and attacking her.

_Nanananananananananananananananaaaa_

Eva finishes running by right nearby. Scott, being chased by Izzy, also arrives right near there.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

The scene shifts to Duncan just as what is surely an awesome battle is about to ensue, looking around suspiciously before turning around and… petting a bunny.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

Zoey appears nearby, smiling knowingly, before Duncan hides the rodent behind his back and glares at her. It bites his hand and his mouth opens wide in what can be presumed to be a scream as the camera zooms in on it.

_(whistling to the tune)_

...and then transitions to a campfire. Owen is looking at Izzy hopefully, only for Noah to pop up behind him and shake his head, Owen sighs and the camera zooms out to reveal the rest of the season’s contestants sitting around the campfire.

_\--Closing Riff--_

 

 **Chris:** Welcome to Total Drama Some Stars!

 **Dave:** [ _now free of the pasta and wearing an interns’ uniform_ ] Really? _Some_ Stars? That’s the _best_ you could come up with?

_Chef Hatchet glares at Dave, lifting up the pasta bazooka again._

**Dave:** [ _gulps_ ] Continue.

 **Chris:** This season, I’ve decided to pit those guys I never get tired of messing with, and some of the ones you guys don’t seem to get tired of asking for...but _not_ Ezekiel!

_Off in the distance, sailing towards Pahkitew Island, is a very nice boat, upon which seven people can be seen._

**Chris:** Here is our first team, the Limelight Lions, my camera sweethearts!

_A red flag covers the screen, on it being a picture of a lion, posing and surrounded by cameras. Cut to the boat, namely to Chris announcing…_

**Seeming-sweetheart turned awful cottage ruiner, out early on _good behavior_ , Duncan!**

**Duncan:** [ _arms folded proudly_ ] Yeah, I’m the worst… Wait, take that last part ba-

**Team-killer turned lovable idiot, Scott!**

**Scott:** Hey! I’m not _lovable_! [ _turns towards Courtney, standing right nearby him_ ] Unless it’s for you, babe!

**Intern-poisoning CIT gone gaga for the dirt farmer, Courtney!**

**Courtney:** Chris, take that entire sentence back this instant! I will not have someone pulling up that quote when I’m running for- [ _She simply turns and looks moderately disgusted upon noticing Scott rather enthusiastically sniffing his own armpit, but her expression turns to a smile when he grins at her. Then she glares at the camera._ ] That had better not make the final cut.

 **Chris:** You already know it will! Next up…

**The original queen bee, Heather!**

**Heather:** This place looks scummier than Wawanakwa. Are we expected to… _rough it_?

 **Chris:** Ahah, pretty much!

 **Heather:** I can’t wait to get the money me and-... _I_ was cheated out of and get out of here.

**Totally average guy, Mike!**

**Mike:** [ _wearing a fedora and speaking in a very fake Australian accent on a cell phone._ ] Yeah, Sheila, it’s me… [ _drops the accent_ ] _Mike_! [ _crying is heard on the other end of the phone, until he hangs up, smiling._ ] Man, it’s great to feel so free!

**Exactly like other girls, Zoey!**

Zoey: [ _was looking somewhat nervously at Mike before her name was called._ ] H-hey! You should know by now, I’m not the kind of girl to go gaga over some jock, or go to some big-budget Hollywood sellout piece! [ _her tone of voice got a bit gravelly and annoyed there, before she frowns sheepishly and turns to Mike._ ] Was that rude?

 **Mike:** Ayo, of course not. You really are one of a kind! Just like me, now!

_Zoey looks a bit displeased with the “ayo,” but she shakes it off._

**And last but definitely not least, the big man himself, the original Total Drama winner… Owen!**

**Owen:** [ _bouncing joyously_ ] Aha, it feels so...something to be back!

 **Chris:** Awesome?

 **Owen:** Yeah, dude!

_The boat, shockingly, just lets the Limelight Lions off easily. Suspiciously, the seven of them step on the beach, each of them carrying a large, identical purple bag alongside any luggage they might have.The camera then pans out to show every introduced contestant so far, before zooming back in on Chris._

**Chris:** Enjoy your trip here?

 **Heather:** It was… exquisite. And a free extra bag? What gives?

 **Duncan:** Yeah, what’s gonna pop out at us, McLane?

 **Chris:** I’m glad you asked! Introducing… [ _he motions for Dave, holding a controller, to press a button. Dave does so. Out of Mike’s purple bag pops Anne Maria, Tyler from Heather’s, Noah from Owen’s, Dawn from Zoey’s, Brick from Scott’s, and Eva from Duncan’s. Notably, Courtney’s has… nothing? Anyway, a purple flag featuring an otter fills the screen._ ]

 **Chris:** The Obscure Otters! None of you are important, so I’m not even gonna bother with intros…

 **Tyler:** [ _quickly tries to get up_ ] Time for another season! This one’s mine, I can feel it!

 **Anne Maria:** “Not important?” Ex _cuse_ me? Hey, you’re lucky y’didn’t hurt the hair, but don’t keep pushin’ your luck!

 **Dave:** Um, Chris? I think Jasmine‘s bag might be broken.

 **Courtney:** [ _looking into her empty bag_ ] “Jasmine..?”

 **Chef:** Chris, wasn’t that bag the one with..?

_A look of fear comes across Chris and Chef’s faces, before Izzy leaps out of seemingly nowhere and tackles Chef Hatchet. Owen, who had quickly left Noah in an embrace likely more cramped than that bag, albeit much more affectionate and well-received, looks at this sight and his eyes light up. Noah just stares, unamused._

**Izzy:** Hey, guys! How’s it going? Miss me much? [ _gets uncomfortably close to Mike and Zoey_ ] Where’s your friend? I wanna see if I can make him pee his pants! I’ve actually done that to people before, you know!

 _[CONFESSION]_ **Dave:** Is… this what Chris meant last season when he said Scarlett went cuckoo after I left? _[END CONFESSION]_

 _[CONFESSION]_ **Owen:** What a woman! Ahaha... [ _his laughing quickly dies down, and he frowns, then sighs._ ] _[END CONFESSION]_

 **Eva:** [ _angrily storming towards Chris, fists quickly forming._ ] Wanna tell us why you stuffed half of us into cramped-up bags when we signed onto this stupid season?

 **Chris:** ‘cuz you’re not the Limelight Lions, _du_ h! You gotta _earn_ respect in this business!

 **Eva:** [ _grabs Chris, a look of fear appearing on the host’s face._ ]

 **Dawn:** [ _runs over to Eva, waving her arms_ ] No, no! Remember your anger management classes!  
Eva: How did you- [is a bit surprised by her knowing that detail, but regardless, she drops Chris down on his feet, glaring at him before backing away.]

 _[CONFESSION]_ **Brick** : Ha! This “Eva” person doesn’t have the military knowhow and ability to survive in way worse places than some cramped-up bag! I, on the other hand, have been in way less comfortable sleeping arrangements even as a _baby_!

 **Chris:** [ _from outside_ ] Awful brave from the guy whose bag-and pants-smell an awful lot like pee!

 **Brick:** H-hey! The worse places just… always had a night light! _[END CONFESSION]_

 **Noah:** I can’t wait to find out will be the first humiliating trial on our plates this season.

 **Tyler:** Same here! Otters, let’s all get ready to get _extreme_!

 **Heather:** More like _extreme_ ly slaughtered!

 **Tyler:** Oh, it is on! And don’t think I’ll be going easy just because you and Alejandro are together! [ _Tyler strikes a fighting pose, only to trip over his own shoelace and faceplant in the sand._ ]

 **Noah:** I give it a 7.5.

_Owen predictably chuckles at Noah’s joke, but then looks at Tyler with concern, along with the “nicer” members of the cast, and Eva._

_[CONFESSION]_ **Heather:** Oh, I completely forgot “Major Injury” and Alejandro were friends. He really is obscure. Either way, I can totally use this to my advantage. [END CONFESSION]

 **Brick:** [ _he's the first to extend a hand to Tyler._ ] That was quite the fall, soldier.

 **Tyler:** [reje _cts the hand, briefly shooting Brick that same “I like girls” look he once gave to Alejandro, but smiles at the compliment and gets up._ ] Thanks! That was my best score yet!

_Just as Owen is starting to approach Izzy, Chris sounds off an airhorn, and all the contestants turn their attention to him._

**Chris:** This is some _stimulating_ conversation, but we’re on a time limit, people!

 **Zoey:** Then why haven’t you told us what we have to do?

 **Mike:** And what’s this time limit matter? Won’t you just edit the episode to the right length later anyway?

 **Chris:** Can it, Mike, and I was just getting to that! Each team is tasked with finding the shelter used by one of the teams last season! First team with all seven in their shelter wins! Lions, you have to find the treehouse, should stick out like a sore thumb, but good luck climbing it. Otters, you have to find the exact cave used as shelter last time around, and there’s quite a few of them around here. Both of your comfy new homes have a flag with your team’s symbol on it inside, just to make the Otters’ job less _impossible_ , and they say I play favorites…

_Both teams rush off in different directions, but Tyler stays put._

**Chris:** …?

 **Tyler:** Yeah, we’ll find that base first! Let’s go, team! Woohoo!

_Tyler  proceeds runs off as well, in an entirely different direction than both teams._

**Noah:** [ _gathered around with his team_ ] Alright, now, let’s figure out what we’re going to do. Their team has [ _in an exaggerated Russian accent, his voice pitched up_ ] normal boy Olympic acrobat extraordinaire! On the other hand, we have an Izzy. As a disadvantage, they’re gonna need to be able to get Owen up the tree whenever they find it, since they have him. On our field, we don’t have Tyler.

 **Brick:** Hey, where’d that guy go? He desert or something?

 **Anne Maria:** Maybe he’s like...tryna cover more ground or somethin’.

_Noah and Eva exchange knowing glances._

**Noah:** You’re giving the guy too much credit.

 **Eva:** It’s not the worst idea though, if we stay within earshot of each other while still being far enough away to cover more ground...maybe we’ll find it?

 **Brick:** Excellent plan, soldier! Alright, as our official leader, I’m going to decide our teams. First and most importantly, finding Tyler!

 **Dawn:** [ _raises her hands_ ] I can do that!

 **Noah:** Maybe we should prioritize the base...Tyler’s not...particularly hard to find.

 **Brick:** Difficulty or not, we _never_ leave a man behind! Dawn, we’re counting on you to bring him back safe!

 **Dawn:** [ _nods and runs off._ ]

 **Anne Maria:** Speakin’ of, where’d red go?

 **Noah:** By “red,” you mean the big guy in the tracksuit?

 **Anne Maria:** Nah, y’know, the girl who was ‘ere earlier? Green skirt...frizzy mess ‘a hair.

 **Eva and Noah:** Oh, no.

_Cut to the Lions, who are traveling in one big group due to the undoubtedly easier time finding things will be for them._

**Owen:** [ _stomach rumbles._ ] Um, guys, when can we stop for lunch?

 **Duncan:** Don’t worry, big guy. Soon as we win I’m sure Chris’ll give us some of that old-fashioned Chef slop. Better than prison food, surprisingly.

 **Scott:** I’m a bigger fan of the dirt back home, myself. Man, whip that up with some powdered water and kitchen grease, and you can make a mean feast!

 **Owen:** ...Dirt, huh?

_Owen kneels down and scoops up a handful of dirt, eating it. Scott quickly does the same, not having sampled Pahkitew Island’s dirt._

**Owen:** Better than I thought...not as good as I hoped.

 **Scott:** Blech! Too much artificial flavoring…

_Owen and Scott, as if on cue, spit out a bolt, earning confused looks from the entire team._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** [ _examining a bolt_ ] Does this mean… Is the island fake _again_? Did I just… figure that out from the _dirt_? I’ve been spending too much time with Scott… _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Heather:** Classy boyfriend, Courtney.

 **Duncan:** [ _"just so happens" to be talking loudly to Zoey and Mike within Courtney’s earshot_ ] Gee, that sure is embarrassing! I know I wouldn’t make out with someone with a dirt-tasting mouth!

_Owen frowns._

**Duncan:** [ _almost instinctively_ ] Sorry, bud.

 **Owen:** It’s alright, I’m sure you’re not the only one who feels that way…

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** [ _sighs_ ] Izzy… _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Duncan:** [ _pats Owen’s back_ ] Better this way, dude, don’t sweat shaking her off.

 **Owen:** [ _clearly not enthused_ ] I guess…

_Zoey smiles at Duncan’s attempts at kindness, which Duncan responds to with a half-hearted glare._

**Duncan:** Don’t.

 **Mike:** [ _noticing this exchange, but having missed Duncan’s entire arc in All Stars_ ] What’re you smiling about, Zoey?

 **Zoey:** Oh, it’s nothing. Just th-

 **Heather:** Hello, Earth to team! Less chatting, more searching!

 **Courtney:** And make sure you remember to look _up_ when you search.

 **Heather:** Says the person whose boyfriend’s more concerned about what _is_ the ground.

 **Courtney:** “Less chatting, more searching,” Heather!

_Heather frowns, but continues looking up at the treetops anyway._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Heather:** Ugh! This would never happen if Alejandro were here...not- not that I need him here or anything! I’ve handled things myself fine for the whole show! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Meanwhile, Dawn walks alone, seeking out Tyler as she was tasked with._

**Dawn:** This place, it feels so very strange… [ _happens by a rabbit._ ] Oh, hello, little one! Have you, perhaps, seen who I’m looking for?

_The rabbit doesn’t make any particular response, and Dawn looks puzzled as it hops off aimlessly._

**Dawn:** How bizarre… I doubt it was simply late for something.

_Tyler is also running around alone, before tripping over some rock. Nearby is Dave._

**Dave:** Topher, man, it’s been awhile!

 **Tyler:** Not this again!

 **Dave:** Hey, look, I know we never… interacted… at all… but I need someone’s help!

 **Tyler:** Huh, what’s up, bro?

 **Dave:** Well, I mean… I’ve been thinking, ever since I got stuck here and all… No, wait, that was… the episode right after you, right? A-anyway! I was starting to think about things.

 **Tyler:** Oh man, you were watching me? Sweet!

 **Dave:** How couldn’t I? The avalanche was, like, right there!

 **Tyler:** Yeah, I know. Happiest day of my life!

 **Dave:** Sad life. Anyway! I’ve been thinking, since then, about Sky and junk!

 **Tyler:** Oh man, a girl?

 **Dave:** Yeah… When I met her, I thought she was just the most swell person on the whole island! Then we had a bad fight, then I was picked as her helper in the finale and we came _this_ close to winning! [ _his “we” is him and Jasmine, though nothing a little miscommunication won’t make hilarious_ ]

 **Tyler:** Hey man, one time, my girlfriend couldn’t even remember my _name_! Honestly, I got pretty mad sometimes! You just gotta keep trying, and things’ll work themselves out!

 **Dave:** That’s why I wanna find some way to break back into the game and junk! Imagining her face when I’ve got that money, right in front of her eyes… [ _laughs evilly._ ]

 **Tyler:** Hah, that’s why I’m here too man! Listen, I gotta go and find my team’s cave, we should talk later though, bro!

 **Dave:** Heh, totally! Wait… Cave, huh? You mean the cave my team was in last season?

 **Tyler:** Yeah, I think!

 **Dave:** I think I’ll cut you a deal, buddy! I help you out with challenges, you just owe me some favors! We can both benefit!

 **Tyler:** Sure thing! So uh… which way’s the cave?

 **Dave:** I’ll just show you the way! I’ve been stuck here since the finale, so I know this island like the back of my hand!

 **Tyler:** Sweet! Advantage: Otters!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ Dave: [ _shows off one of the controllers from the finale_ ] Chris told me to just go to town with this controller as part of the challenge! Hah, Pahkitew Island, here comes Dave! [ _Dave starts mashing buttons randomly, not having a screen to look at._ ] _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Back with the Lions…_

**Heather & Courtney:** Hey, I think I see it! …I saw it first!

 **Duncan:** It doesn’t matter, we’re probably ahead now! Let’s start piling in!

_The Lions start to climb up the Treehouse, when Zoey looks around, noticing a decided lack of something._

**Zoey:** Uh… Where’s Owen?

 **Mike:** Hey, it doesn’t matter! He’s the one going home if he loses us the challenge!

_Duncan glares at Mike, suspicious._

**Duncan:** What, do you want us to lose or something, “ _Mike_ ”?

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Duncan:** Mal can spout whatever he wants about some button in his mind meshing everyone inside him together, but I ain’t buying it! I know when a guy’s no good! Takes one to know one, of course! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Duncan:** We had the easier to find base, we’re probably still ahead.

 **Scott:** He couldn’t’ve gotten lost too long ago, ‘else we would’ve noticed!

_Meanwhile, Owen is walking alone._

**Owen:** I coulda sworn I just saw her… Izzy, are you following me? Does this mean you wanna kiss and make up?

_A bush rustles nearby Owen, and he smiles at it in response._

**Owen:** Oh, Izzy. Eheh, this reminds me of old times… I mean, there are other things that would remind of old times too.

_A small rabbit hops out of the bush, followed by Dawn._

**Dawn:** Stop, please! I’m your friend!

 **Owen:** ...Oh.

_Eva and Noah have formed one of the groups looking for the cave, the other being led by Brick with Anne Maria._

**Noah:** No flag, no remains of Tyler. Is it just me, or are more caves just popping up like crazy?

_Eva shrugs as they head out of the cave to look for another._

**Brick:** ...Negative. No signs of the flag, or our missing compatriot.

 **Anne Maria:** Shouldn’ flower girl have gotten back by now, at least? Maybe they jus’ want us to lose.

 **Brick:** Negative, once again. I highly doubt it’s in Dawn’s nature, I have reviewed the showings of our season and Dawn appears to still be a trustworthy and kindhearted individual. She’s most likely still searching, or returning with Tyler as we speak.

 **Anne Maria:** Or stealin’ peoples junk again.

_Anne Maria, of course, has likely not watched a single episode of the show outside of World Tour._

**Brick:** Negative, a third time! Scott was the true culprit, and she was set up. Now isn’t the time to dwell on the past however, we have to keep searching!

 **Anne Maria:** Uh huh, yeah, whatever. I just hope I got enough o’ this stuff to last me a whole season roughin’ it in some cave or whatever. [ _Anne Maria sprays a truly noxious amount of her hair stuff. Brick coughs._ ]

_Back with the Lions, Mike and Zoey are the first two climbing up into the treehouse. Duncan has offered to go out and look for Owen._

**Mike:** [ _smiles at Zoey_ ] Er, after you!

 **Zoey:** [ _smiles back at Mike_ ] Aw, thanks.

_As quickly as Zoey enters the treehouse, a savage roar is heard from within it, followed by Zoey being sent flying seconds later, Mike calling her name in concern before throwing out his arm and catching her before she falls to the ground._

**Courtney:** What _happened_ up there!?

 **Zoey:** ...Izzy happened. Thanks, Mike. [ _quickly gets back to clinging to the tree, climbing up it until she’s sitting atop the roof of the treehouse._ ]

 **Heather:** Crazy girl? _She_ got up there before us?! What kind of _team_ are you guys?

 **Courtney:** Where’s Duncan with Owen? He can probably get her down, right?

 **Mike:** Or we just found our easiest way to get Owen up here if he shows up!

 **Scott:** Ugh, don’t tell me we need to send a search party for our search party.

 **Mike:** Again, Scott, pretty big if, him showing up in time at all. And eventually, Izzy’ll need to leave for her team, right?

 **Izzy:** [ _sticks her head out from inside the treehouse_ ] Actually, I’ve totally been working on this thing where there can be _two_ of me at once! It’s the craziest thing when it works!

 **Mike:** [ _takes a seat next to Zoey on the roof_ ] Short of _her_ , right? [ _chuckles_ ]

 **Zoey:** Uh… right.

 **Heather:** Hey, what if we focused on keeping her _there_? Nothing’s stopping Owen and Duncan from getting back, but we can stop her from getting where she needs to go!

 **Courtney:** That’s a great idea, except for one thing. How will we stop her from _throwing us out of the treehouse_?!

 **Zoey:** Mike! You can do it, can’t you? If you’ve got all the abilities your personalities had, you’re super tough, and athletic to boot!

 **Mike:** Eheh, right… That makes sense! I mean, I’ve been using the athletic stuff and all, so…

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Mike:** To be fully honest, I’m a _bit_ worried about the whole “having all their traits” thing. What if it turns out that, despite all that stuff I said about how he “isn’t a part of me I need anymore,” Mal’s _still_ merged with the rest of me? What if I do something bad? ...Plus, I’ve been using more hair gel than ever now! Oh, well… I’m all Mike, all the time, now, right? That means I’ll be able to tell if that’s actually the case! _[CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Mike:** Courtney, I saw you lift a lamppost in an episode once! Wanna help be the ones who’ll stop her from doing the stuff you just said?

 **Courtney:** ...Fine, being a team player’s important right now.

_Courtney begins climbing up, motioning for Mike to enter after her. He does so, whispering the plan. The mics don’t pick up the details, but the duo climbs into the treehouse to Izzy’s snarling, toothy grin._

_Meanwhile, Dawn has begun to talk Owen through his continued breakup issues, Duncan having run into them shortly after he split from the other group, and being… less than amused with it taking so long._

**Duncan:** Dude, have your little feelings jam after the challenge. We gotta go before-

_Tyler bursts into the scene._

**Tyler:** Dawn, I found the right cave!

 **Duncan:** _What_?

 **Owen:** Oh, is Izzy there? Could I maybe possibly-

 **Duncan:** [ _grabs Owen’s arm and starts running towards the treehouse_ ] _Later_ , Owen!

_Owen sighs and lets himself be led. Tyler and Dawn take off together in a different direction. Back at the treehouse, Eva is running in its general direction in search of missing companions, before looking up and noticing the form of Courtney being thrown out of the treehouse._

**Mike:** Hah!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Zoey:** “Hah?” That’s not a very nice thing to say at all, if someone falls thanks to your plan. In fact, ever since “all Mike, all the time” and Wawanakwa sinking, Mike’s been a bit… Meaner than he was after _Revenge_ , sometimes. I don’t think that he’s still Mal, or anything, but… Maybe the real Mike could just be a _bad_ guy now! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_While Zoey is entrenched in thought, Eva is cupping her hands and screaming._

**Eva:** Hey, Izzy! Get your butt down here and follow me! We’ve _found_ our cave!

 **Izzy:** Alright, alright, I’m _coming_! Jeez, calm down, _mom_! [ _leaps right out of Mike’s way when he attempts to grab her, landing perfectly on Courtney before running off, following Eva._ ]

_Right after Eva and Izzy leave, Duncan and Owen arrive._

**Duncan:** Why’re “ _Mike_ ” and Zoey the only ones even close to inside?

 **Heather:** It doesn’t matter! Just. Everyone get up there before those _losers_ beat us!

 **Owen:** Alright! Time to make up for lost time, team! [ _runs towards the tree, throwing himself around it before ineffectually shimmying upwards. He’s barely made it  ¾  of a meter after a long time._ ]

_At the Otters’ cave…_

**Noah:** So you’re. Saying _you_ found this, Tyler?

 **Tyler:** Well, I can’t really take all the credit! I gotta pass some of that credit stuff to my new buddy!

 **Brick:** Oh, thank you, soldier! It’s great to know we’ve bonded so well in such a short time!

 **Dawn:** I believe he’s referring to the strange intern.

 **Anne Maria:** Well, o’course he is. No offense to ya, Brick, but you didn’t really do nothin’ important this round.

 **Brick:** But… I was our leader…

_Eva runs in, grasping Izzy by the arm and panting in exasperation._

**Eva:** Is… everyone here?

 **Izzy:** Well, I mean, most of us, anyway. The Lions aren’t here, but I mean, that’s to be expected, since they’re supposed to be over in that treehouse I found!

 **Noah:** You were holding out in _their_ shelter?

_Eva nods._

**Eva:** She’d just thrown Courtney overboard when I showed up.

_Back at the treehouse, at the same time, Duncan and Scott are trying to help Owen climb._

**Scott:** Y’know, this’d be a _lot_ easier if more of you made sure this big guy doesn’t crush our bones!

 **Courtney:** I fell out of a tree recently, _Mike_!

 **Zoey:** Oh, I’d be happy to-

 **Mike:** Not worth the effort.

 **Zoey:** “Not worth..?”

_Duncan just glares up at Mike yet again._

**Heather:** I am not risking him “erupting” nearby me again.

 **Owen:** [ _stomach gurgles grossly._ ] Define “nearby.” [ _grins sheepishly, chuckles._ ]

 **Chris:** [ _sighs, speaking over a loudspeaker_ ] And... the Obscure Otters won, despite all odds!

 **All of the Lions besides Scott:** What?!

 **Scott:** What?!

 **Chris:** Yeah! That’s what I said! Much as I hate to say it, tonight we’re gonna need to part with one of you! Elimination ceremony, tonight.

_Courtney, Scott, and Heather all glare at Owen._

**Owen:** Guys, I am _so_ sorry I ruined everything! I was just trying to _fix_ everything with someone _else_ I’ve ruined it all with when I heard that she’d been spotted nearby, and-

 **Duncan:** Wait, wait, wait, roll back there. You saying someone told you to go after Izzy?

 **Courtney:** Oh, come _on_ , he is so _obviously_ just trying to pin the blame on someone else for costing us the challenge!

 **Heather:** Hate to say it, but Duncan has a point. You’re giving Owen too much strategic credit.

 **Owen:** Aw, thanks for sticking up for me, Heather!

 **Zoey:** But… who would say something like that to Owen? It couldn’t have been someone from our team…

 **Duncan:** I have a few ideas. How about you, “ _Mike_ ”?

 **Zoey:** Duncan!

 **Mike:** [ _rubs his scalp beneath his hat nervously_ ] Eheh…

 

_Flashback time!_

_**Mike:** [snickering] Hey, Owen, I think I saw Izzy over that way!_

_**Owen:** What? You mean she’s following me or something?! Owen’s coming for ya, babe! [runs off.]_

_**Mike:** [laughs, unable to keep a straight face] You do that, buddy! Tell me if she’s actually there!_

_The flashback ends._

 

 **Mike:** I didn’t think it’d make this big of a problem!

 **Zoey:** Mike, that wasn’t very nice…

 **Duncan:** “Didn’t think it would,” huh? [ _glares at Mike_ ] Say whatever you like, I’m _still_ not buying that you’re “back!”

 **Scott:** Either way, he singlehandedly cost us the challenge.

 **Mike:** Hey, Owen’s the one who fell for it! Anyone should’ve realized that Izzy doesn’t care about him anymore!

 **Owen:** [ _sniffling_ ] You’re right...

 **Duncan:** Whoa dude, _not_ cool.

 **Courtney:** “Not cool” or not, we’re going to be at a disadvantage during the next challenge, and I would rather we have someone _useful_ as one of our remaining Lions!

 **Heather:** Yeah, tell me how you feel about that at the merge. If you even manage to _make_ it that far.

 **Duncan:** Look, you were all on _All Stars_ in some way or another. You know that this dude’s more dangerous than as a _competitor_!

 **Zoey:** H-hey! Mal’s gone now though, right, Mike?

 **Mike:** Right, yeah! Just like all the rest of ‘em, mate!

_Duncan just gestures at Mike with both arms, staring at his team intensely. The rest of them just stare with various expressions._

_Cut to Pahkitew Island’s elimination ceremony section, the Lions sitting on various stumps. The Otters are looking on from behind Chris, in some pretty cool chairs, all colored the same red as the flag for the Lions. Chris holds up his iconic plate of marshmallows._

**Chris:** Seriously, Lions, _seriously_? Come on, I can’t reliably count on those other guys for ratings… Anyway, you have all been to one of these before, so you know how this goes. Each of you has made your vote for one of your teammates. I call your name, you receive a marshmallow, and you’re safe. Whoever does not receive one will be the first to try our newest method of elimination! Now, the first to receive marshmallows… Zoey, Courtney. Nice job taking a few for the team from Izzy! [ _he tosses the marshmallows to the girls. Courtney smiles upon her receiving one, but Zoey’s expression remains worried._ ]

 **Izzy:** Pfft, I went easy on ‘em.

 **Chris:** Heather, Scott… You existed! Nice job. [ _tosses them marshmallows._ ]

 **Scott:** Pappy always said I’d be good for somethin’ one day!

 **Chris:** Duncan! The lesser of three evils, or any evil, really. What an exceptional team player, this guy! [ _he throws the marshmallow at Duncan, who catches and angrily squeezes it._ ]

 **Chris:** Owen, Mike, I only have one marshmallow left on this plate. Whoever doesn’t receive one, is going home. Owen, you followed an _outrageously_ obvious lie, and your team probably could’ve won if you hadn’t run off in search of your ex-girlfriend. Gotta learn to let go, man.

_Noah just nods, admittedly surprised to be agreeing with Chris._

**Chris:** Mike. You _told_ the lie that ended up costing your team the challenge, and your antics have left a lotta thorns in sides over one episode alone. Not to mention teasing a widow. That’s just in bad taste, dude.

 **Mike:** Come on, it’s _funny_!

 **Anne Maria:** Ay, Chris, hurry it up! I wanna see the guy who killed Vito _fly_!

 **Chris:** [ _sighs_ ] Fine, alright... Killing the suspense, much? Owen. [ _tosses Owen a marshmallow_ ]

_Owen, as well as Duncan and the entirety of the Obscure Otters bar Dawn, likely cheers. She just looks as puzzled and frustrated as she has since the rabbit incident._

**Chris:** Must sting to have so many people cheering for your elimination, huh, Mike?

 **Mike:** Yeah, guys, what gives? It’s not like I ever did _you_ any wrong!

 **Anne Maria:** Izzat a fact? [ _glares at Mike_ ] Where’s Vito then?!

 **Mike:** Somewhere _inside_ or whatever! Ey, Dawn, use your aura whatever back me up on this!

 **Dawn:** I can only say that you are one, singular person, Mike. [ _says this uncharacteristically dismissively for Dawn._ ]

 **Chris:** Doesn’t matter either way! Votes have already been tallied, and Mike, Vito, or whoever else you want to add to that claim-

 **Duncan:** Mal.

 **Chris:** [ _frowns, unamused, at Duncan_ ] … -is getting the boot!

 **Dave:** [ _enters and walks over to Chris_ ] Uh, Chris, I can’t find the cannon of shame anywhere. Did you store it in a monkey again or something?

 **Chris:** Oh, Dave, we _never_ reuse old elimination methods here on _Total Drama_! Mike, would you be so kind as to stand on the edge over there?

 **Mike:** Just a second, dagnabbit! [ _turns towards Zoey_ ] Look, I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and maybe yeah, I’ve been a bit bad! I mean, that thing with Mrs. Smith and that stuff with Owen was still _funny_ , but-

_A literal giant boot swings into Mike, sending him away from the island, off into the horizon, turning whatever he was about to say into a scream mid-sentence. Chris laughs at everyone else’s surprised expressions. His fedora flutters to the beach below the cliff._

**Chris:** Taking “getting kicked off” to a whole new level!

 **Zoey:** What was he going to say?

 **Duncan:** Some dumb attempt to save face, I’d bet. Dude’s got that “desperate and crazy” look in his eyes.

 **Noah:** I bet you can’t _imagine_ what that feels like.

 **Duncan:** Shut it.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ Zoey: I hate to say it, but… Duncan’s probably sort of right about Mike. Again. Why can I be so _stupid_?! That’s it! Rest of the game, I’m not going to be relying on _anyone_. [ _the confessional has its usual ending static effect, but then is right back to Zoey, now wearing familiar warpaint. Her shirt is not torn, but the familiar fabric is tied around her head. Maybe she saved the headband after last time._ ] I’m in this for _me_ now. [ _her expression briefly softens_ ] Cam, if you’re watching, I promise not to go too overboard this time. See? I even left my shirt un-ripped! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_The camera zooms in on Chris, in typical “end of episode” fashion._

**Chris:** Well, I’m now 1/7 less likely to make a _fortune_ off of this season, but. Will the Lions make up for this humiliating loss? Will Dawn be the _last_ to figure out the truth of Pahkitew Island? Will Owen ever win back Izzy’s attention? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Some Stars!

_Before the credits roll, Dave is shown looking into the water at the beach, when Mike’s fedora floats by. He picks it up, looks at it curiously, and puts it on, before looking at his reflection in the water again._

**Dave:** Classy! [ _tips fedora_ ]

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, this is gonna be a fun one! Yes, this is a fan-season, and yes, it is in script format! It feels awkward and out of place to write a season of Total Drama in paragraph form. Anyway, you eagle-eyed readers may notice the whole "14 chapters" thing. It looks like a spoiler, since logically there would only be 13 chapters, one for each episode, because 7 contestants. Do not fear, no spoilers here! The alternate winner will simply be their own bonus mini-chapter.
> 
> Anyway, moving on to this "episode" 's eliminated contestant! Now, at first we simply wanted to drop Mike first because, you know, having ol' offense Mike around just isn't something we'd be fond of, and we only included him to stay true to the theme of the season. However, we felt mild regret for dropping Mike so early, simply because our Mike turned out somewhat interesting, with a decent amount of potential. In the end, we remained steadfast in our decision to drop Mike as the First Boss, simply because if Zoey's going to be an interesting character, he's gotta go early on, regardless of when Zoey falls.


	2. Episode 2 - Blazing the Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this episode, the Lions and the Otters must formally choose their leaders, who will lead them in constructing and burning an effigy of the opposite team's leader. Who will build faster? Who will burn with their leader's statue?

****

**Chris:** Last time, on _Total Drama: Some Stars…_

_The previous episode’s early shot of the boat, complete with the Limelight Lions stepping off with purple bags, fills the screen._

**Chris:** Seven of our most money-making Total Drama alumni were brought to Pahkitew Island in luxury as the regal and first-class Limelight Lions.

_The Lions’ bags popping open, revealing the Otters minus Izzy, followed by Izzy’s tackling Chef, is shown again._

**Chris:** Six of our big Total Drama Washouts-and Izzy-made up their inferior rivals, the Obscure Otters.

_The cave and the treehouse are shown._

**Chris:** The obscure team was challenged with finding one very particular cave among a sea of many, whereas all the Lions had to do was _climb. one. tree._

_Dave button-mashing in the confessional is shown, followed by Noah, Eva, Brick, and Anne Maria’s checking various wrong caves._

**Chris:** Our newest intern was tasked with making sure it wouldn't be too easy to walk into the right cave.

_Dave and Tyler are shown talking._

**Chris:** However, he wound up making an alliance with one of the Otters instead.

_Dawn chasing a rabbit and Owen searching for Izzy are shown._

**Chris:** Dawn’s freaking out trying to figure out the secrets of the island, and Owen let his whole team down by running off in search of Izzy.

_Izzy is seen throwing Zoey, and later Courtney, out of the treehouse._

**Chris:** And it turned out that she was actually right at _Owen’s own team’s goal_ for most of the game. After that, she made it to the cave-found by Tyler’s new alliance-and the Otters had a disappointing first victory.

_Owen looking disappointed, Duncan looking angrily at Mike, and the flashback of Mike’s lie to Owen are shown, followed by Mike getting the literal boot and Zoey reverting to commando Zoey._

**Chris:** It seemed like Owen was all set to go home, but after some prodding from Duncan, it was revealed that it was _Mike’s_ fault Owen ran off at all, not to mention being kind of a huge jerk in general otherwise. It was all too easy for Duncan to convince everyone to give Mike-or as Duncan was wrongly convinced, Mal-the boot. Eheh, _literally_. After Mike’s turn for the worse, a betrayed-feeling Zoey returned to a form long-missed: Commando Zoey! Wonder if it’ll last a single episode this time, eheh!

_Chris is standing at the front of the island in front of a large TV, paused at the final shot of the first episode._

**Chris:** Will Zoey ever trust people again after a _third_ season’s worth of distrustful relationships starting sooner than ever? Will the Lions be able to deal with the consequences of losing their most versatile player? Did Anne Maria bring enough hair product for the rest of her run on the show? At least one of these questions will be answered right here, on Total. Drama. Some Stars!

_\-- The opening sequence plays. Wanna see it? Go back to chapter 1.--_

_It’s a beautiful morning on Pahkitew Island. The robotic birds are chirping, the newly-placed waterfall is rushing serenely, with Dave, now clad in fedora, even picking several flowers nearby… before pulverizing them and snickering. Dawn, who was walking by, bags under her eyes, glares._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dawn:** I have had an entirely sleepless night, due to how bizarre and unnatural this place feels. To see this intern harming such beautiful flowers, though, upsets me so. I can foresee that it is a bad idea to allow his and Tyler’s alliance to continue. I must-[ _yawns_ ]-put an end to it! I must warn the others! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_In the Otters’ cave, Noah rises, smelling something foully strong, and not in the way he’s grown fond and accustomed. He immediately turns his nose towards the source, Anne Maria, spraying stuff into her hair._

**Noah:** [ _pinching his nose_ ] What is this, some third-rate hair salon?

 **Anne Maria:** [ _yelling every word_ ] What did you say, short stuff? [ _closes in on Noah angrily, fists balling up_ ] I don’ wanna have problems with a teammate so early on, but call my poof third-rate again, and you’re _done_. Y’got that?

 **Noah:** Yeah, mhm. Now, care to tell me where the rest of our team is?

 **Anne Maria:** [ _backs off, still sounding somewhat annoyed_ ] I’unno, everyone was gone by the time I got up, too. A girl needs ‘er beauty sleep, y’know?

 **Brick:** [ _steps in with Tyler, Eva, and Izzy, all carrying various fruits. Tyler’s throat is swollen, and he appears to be trying to speak. His and Eva’s right hands have matching rashes._ ] Mission accomplished, but we’ve sustained a few injuries.

 **Noah:** [ _looks at Tyler, raising an eyebrow in concern and disturbance_ ] Bro, what happened?

 **Eva:** The four of us were out looking for food, since Chef _hasn't fed us_ , and then…

_Flashback time! Tyler, Brick, Eva, and Izzy are walking through the woods together._

_**Izzy:** And then I twirled the fire batons right there in the house! [_ sees a green, apple-like fruit growing on a tree _] Oh, lookit that! It’s-_

_**Tyler:** Keepin’ the doctor away! [picks one of the fruits and takes a big bite out of it, smiling]_

_**Izzy:** Wait, don’t do that! ...oh, never mind. Ahaha, wow, tough luck._

_**Eva:** [_ swats the fruit away before Tyler can obliviously take another bite _] “Tough luck?” What is that thing?_

_**Izzy:** That would be a manchineel fruit! It’s also called the “little apple of death.”_

_**Brick and Tyler:** D-death?!_

_**Izzy:** Don’t worry, _ eating _it hasn’t successfully killed anyone. Ahaha, yet. Nice shot, stopping him after just one bite, Eva._

 _ **Eva:** It wasn’t a big deal. [_ glares at Tyler _]_ This _is why we don’t eat strange things right away off of strange islands._

_**Brick:** Eva is absolutely right. From now on, no eating things we can’t explicitly identify!_

_**Tyler:** It looked a lot like an apple…_

_End flashback._

**Noah:** Tyler, I thought you were one of the people who actually _watched_ this show. This happened to someone last season, too.

 **Tyler:** [ _Says something incoherently in his own defense, though the words “Lindsay” and “balloon” can be made out. This is enough to get everyone to nod sympathetically._ ]

 **Dawn:** [ _runs in_ ] Everyone… I have something to… Dave is… We should… [ _yawns loudly before falling forward, coldly asleep_ ]

 **Tyler:** [ _attempts to shout out “DAVE!” before running off again, assuming Dawn was trying to relay a distress signal from Dave._ ]

_Meanwhile, the Lions’ sleep has been much more restful due to the legitimacy of their living quarters. Zoey has taken to sleeping on the roof, and Owen, unable to make it up to the treehouse, lies against the tree, snoring loudly. His stomach growls louder before Duncan approaches and nudges him with his foot._

**Owen:** Sweet mother of- Oh, Duncan. I must’ve been having some weird hunger dream or something. You said Chef would make us something after the last challenge, didn’t you?

 **Duncan:** Oh, he did. [ _laughs before opening up one of the purple bags, now filled with an assortment of containers of all sorts of food, many of which are still somewhat warm._ ] He just doesn't realize it yet. [ _high-fives Owen before looking up and shouting_ ] Breakfast is served!

[ _CONFESSIONAL_ ] **Duncan:** Look, I only got that food to stick it to Chef! It had _nothing_ to do with feeding my team. Those guys can all starve for all I care, even if it was the best thing to see everyone’s faces light up at all that real food… Shut up. [ _END CONFESSIONAL_ ]

 **Heather:** [ _buries her head in a pillow, groaning tiredly_ ] What is he going on about now?

 **Courtney:** [ _looks out of the window_ ] It looks like… He _stole food from chef!_ _Without_ me!

 **Scott:** What’s it matter to you, babe? [ _probably eating a bowl of some “cereal” that is, in fact, dirt in a bowl of water from someplace stagnant._ ] I always thought you were all into following the rules and stuff.

 **Courtney:** Well… Someone needs to make sure he won’t _kill_ someone or _blow something up_ or something!

 **Scott:** Then let someone else handle it! You've got leading to do, right?

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Scott:** Of course I've seen the old episodes of the show. I know Courtney’s got a bit of a bad side to her too, just itching to come out whether she wants it to or not. If I wanna keep her love, I bet I’m gonna have to show that I can totally be the bad boy she wants _and_ the boyfriend she wanted to take to the _final two!_ _[END CONFESSIONAL!]_

_The Lions, bar Zoey, are all beneath the tree now, having started an impromptu breakfast picnic._

**Owen:** [ _mouth full of food_ ] Anyone gonna eat those sausages?

 **Scott:** [ _grins and kicks dirt onto the requested breakfast sausages, snickering. This incites disgusted reactions from everyone except Owen._ ]

 **Owen:** That a no? [ _smiles and quickly consumes them_ ]

 **Courtney:** Scott, what was _that_ for?

 **Scott:** See, babe, I can be a real bad boy too! And a way more faithful one at that!

_Courtney just looks embarrassed, yet equally flattered. Duncan scoffs and rolls his eyes before looking up again at Zoey, still standing on the roof._

**Duncan:** Hey, you wanna come down anytime soon? Everything’s gonna be in Owen’s stomach any minute now. [ _he looks at her hopefully, but is only met with a glare and continued staring into the horizon._ ] Fine, whatever suits ya! More food for the rest of us!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Zoey:** Everything by myself, for myself. That stuff did smell really nice, and everyone seemed to be having a good time, even _Heather_ , but… [ _shakes her head_ ] Can’t get too close to competition again. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Chris:** [ _Over an announcer, as everyone stops what they’re doing and looks up, even the half-asleep Dawn, who is currently clinging to Brick’s back_ ] Attention, contestants! Everyone, gather in the elimination ceremony area for your next challenge!

 **Tyler:** [ _has been trying to ask Dave what’s wrong for several minutes, to no avail, complete with many wild gesticulation_ ]

 **Dave:** [ _standing there, completely unharmed_ ] Uh… that’s nice, Topher, but I kinda gotta go see if Chris needs me for this challenge! Only intern left and all. You should probably come along too! We need each other, remember? [ _walks offscreen, before Tyler follows him_ ]

_Chris is standing at his elimination podium thing, Chef beside him, the Lions and Otters fighting briefly over who gets the chairs and who gets the stumps. Ultimately, Tyler, Eva, Scott, Brick, Owen, and Duncan are content with stumps, the seven not mentioned enjoying the comfy victory chairs instead. Dawn in particular is curled up in hers, not unlike a cat. A lot of wood is strewn about the ceremony area, and a second fire pit appears to have been installed._

**Chris:** First things first, someone tell me this: what sort of person is of utmost importance in a survival situation?

 **Owen:** A chef!

_Chef Hatchet smiles._

**Tyler:** [ _something incoherent_ ]

 **Anne Maria:** Hairstylist!

 **Heather:** Me, of course!

 **Scott:** Expendable companions!

 **Dawn:** A nature expert..!

 **Brick and Courtney:** A strong leader!

 **Chris:** All very valid answers-except Tyler’s, and I don’t assume Heather meant _me_ by saying “me”-but for the purpose of this challenge, I’m gonna have to say that the “correct” answer goes to Brick and Courtney.

 **Brick:** Sir, does this mean that this challenge will be at last giving someone official recognition for their leadership chops?

 **Chris:** Right you are, Brick! For the first part of your challenge, both teams must recognize an official leader!

_Brick and Courtney both smile._

**Chris:** You’ve got five minutes to talk it out amongst yourselves, then have your leader of choice come over to me. Begin!

 **Brick:** Of course, I would like to nominate myself for this venture, being the only one with military training here.

 **Eva:** Whatever.

 **Noah:** Knock yourself out.

 **Tyler:** [ _silently thumbs-up_ ]

 **Dawn:** [ _sits up, rubbing her eyes_ ] I see nothing wrong with this.

 **Anne Maria:** [ _filing her nails_ ] Hey, long as you don’t make a “no winnin’ the million” rule or say anything about my hair, I’m good. [ _shoots another angered glare at Noah, met with a look of utter indifference_ ]

 **Izzy:** _I object!_

_Everyone stares at Izzy, awaiting some explanation or continuation to her objection._

**Izzy:** Ahah, never mind, I’m good.

 **Brick:** …perfect! [ _runs over to Chris_ ]

 **Heather:** No, _I_ am the most fit to be leader!

 **Courtney:** Well, _I_ didn't realize you became a CIT at some point off-season!

 **Heather:** At least _I’m_ capable of making the final four without an army of lawyers! _And_ I’m capable of basic counting, miss “farthest-I’ve-ever-gotten!”

 **Scott:** Well, maybe we should just-

 **Courtney and Heather:** Stay out of this!

_Courtney and Heather glare at each other._

**Duncan:** [ _grins, leaning against a tree. The camera only shows his head._ ] Can’t tell which is which anymore! [ _it pans down to reveal him petting a rabbit, before he glares at the camera and sets it down gently, giving it a pat and setting it down before glaring at the camera again_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Heather:** What is Duncan going _on_ about? We have _nothing_ in common. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** What is _Duncan_ going on about? We have nothing in _common_. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Duncan:** [ _ignores Courtney and Heather’s squabbling from there on out, instead walking over to Owen_ ] You feel like taking up the job, Owen?

 **Owen:** [ _gasps_ ] You really think I would be able to, Duncan?

_Duncan nods._

**Owen:** Oh, I would be _honored!_ Chris, the Lions have got their leader! [ _runs over to Chris_ ]

_A short while later, Owen and Brick are standing in front of Chris._

**Chris:** Alright, so the Otters and the Lions both have their leaders. Now, as leaders, it’s your duties to lead your teams in construction of an effigy of the opposite team’s leader.

 **Noah:** Does it need to be… to _scale_?

 **Chris:** Eheh, yep!

_The Otters all glance at Owen, their eyes widening in worry. Courtney smiles smugly, all frustration at having leadership snatched from her leaving her face._

**Courtney:** Still mad about losing out on leadership, _Heather_?

 **Heather:** Probably less than _you_ are.

 **Eva:** Is that it? Build a wooden Owen statue?

 **Chris:** [ _chuckles_ ] Of course not! Now, what’s something you usually _do_ with an effi-

 **Izzy:** Burn it! We’re gonna light stuff up!

Owen: Ahah, yeah… Sounds about accurate.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** Izzy seems really enthusiastic to set me on fire. Of course, she might just be enthusiastic about pyrotechnics in general… _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Duncan:** [ _smiles at Owen, patting his back_ ] Advantages just keep piling up! [ _removes a lighter from his pockets, flicking it indicatively_ ] Glad I never got rid of this thing.

 **Dawn:** [ _yawns, and with that same tired and inexpressive face, does the same as Duncan, producing and activating a lighter_ ]

_Noah, Duncan, Zoey (from off in the distance), Heather, Courtney, and Eva all just look somewhat surprised at Dawn._

**Dawn:** Is something the matter?

 **Izzy and Duncan:** Snrk.

 **Chris:** Not questioning that! You can use whatever you can find to start the fire, after you’ve placed the effigy into the fire pit!

_Chef raises an airhorn and blares it._

**Chris:** Alright, be _gin_!

 **Brick:** Alright, team! Eva, Tyler, Izzy, we’re gonna need the biggest pieces of wood we can find. Noah, Dawn, Anne Maria, find some way to accurately emulate Owen’s wardrobe!

 **Noah:** Is that really necessary?

 **Brick:** Absolutely! A leader is nothing without their outfit, and we _must_ reflect that!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Brick:** Next order of business! Gotta make sure the Lions treat their effigy of me with the same respect we’ll be treating Owen’s! I think I know just the Lion with that commando spirit and friend-valuing attitude to spearhead it, too! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Brick runs over to Zoey. Various people on either team carry sections of wood in the foreground._

**Brick:** Zoey!

 **Zoey:** [ _standing by the edge, watching everything sternly_ ] What do you want, Brick?

 **Brick:** I noticed you weren’t doing anything for your own team. Is something the matter, soldier?

 **Zoey:** What’s it to you?

 **Brick:** Well, I consider you a friend, so even if we’re opponents on this field of battle, I’m not going to just-

 **Zoey:** Who needs _friends_ in a game like this? They’re just gonna turn out to be jerks, or blow something up, or something.

 **Brick:** I offer my dearest sympathies about Mike, but don’t you think this is a bit-

 **Zoey:** Leave, Brick. Go back to your _own_ team.

 **Brick:** We will discuss this later, then. [ _starts off, before poking his head back onscreen and smiling hopefully_ ] Uh, make sure my statue looks practical yet stylish!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Brick:** I’m perfectly alright! It’s not like Zoey’s going down a bad road or anything. It’s… No, it’s worryingly similar to Jo, but with even less team playing! [ _he sighs_ ] I hope she comes out alright. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Shortly after Brick leaves, Duncan approaches._

**Zoey:** And what do _you_ want?

 **Duncan:** Look, get sent home whenever you want, I don’t really care, but our team has less people, and you’re one of the only ones who can go three seconds without trying to start a fight. [ _He jerks his thumb towards the other group members._ ]

_Heather and Courtney are fighting over a hammer and a piece of wood about the size of Brick’s head. Then Scott comes over and straight-up cuts the wood in midair using an axe, freaking out both Heather and Courtney, as well as shocking Owen into dropping the large amount of wood he was carrying._

**Scott:** See? Bad boy!

 **Owen:** Great John Steinbeck, man, don’t _do_ that!

 **Scott** : Hey, I've chopped up kitchen rats way smaller and nimbler back at home! There was never any _real_ danger!

 **Duncan:** [ _looks back at Zoey_ ] See what I mean?

 **Zoey:** I guess you’re right… Just stay out of my way, then.

 **Duncan:** It would be my pleasure. I ain't a people person, either, sweetheart.

_Duncan and Zoey go their separate ways. What follows is a montage of either team’s members working towards their effigy’s completion. The Lions aren't meshing well together at all, whereas the Otters are putting together the wooden Owen as a group, hammering, chiseling, putting things all that good stuff. Dawn approaches a bear that has wandered nearby, hoping she can convince it to help her team’s efforts._

**Dawn:** Um, excuse me, miss?

_The bear looks at Dawn._

**Dawn:** Would you be so kind as to-

_The bear just roars and chases her back towards the elimination area. She runs by Eva and Izzy, propping up the effigy (all but the head and legs of which are complete) and carving the maple leaf on Owen’s shirt at Brick’s insistence, respectively. Both of them just growl and snarl at the bear, which immediately whimpers and runs off, Izzy chasing it._

**Eva:** Izzy, wait-! [ _she sighs, then turns to Dawn_ ] You alright?

 **Dawn:** I am unharmed, but I’m not certain if “alright” is so accurate…

 **Eva:** Well, I’m hardly a therapist, but I know some stuff that can help with stress. [ _she has taken to carving out the symbol of Owen’s shirt in Izzy’s stead. Her approximation is admittedly cruder_ ] You can go ahead and vent if you want, too.

 **Dawn:** Thank you for the offer, but I mustn’t trouble you with these woes. You would think they’re silly. I’ll just… sit and think on this awhile longer. [ _does so, sitting nearby Eva and closing her eyes in thought_ ]

 **Eva:** Suit yourself.

_Tyler is working on making a wooden leg._

**Noah:**  Tyler, the shape of _Owen’s_ leg.

 **Tyler:** [ _something incoherent as he ceases to carve a very accurate replica of Lindsay’s leg_ ]

 **Noah:** No, Chris will probably notice.

 **Dave:** [ _approaches_ ] Hey, Topher, nice… uh, leg. How’s the challenge faring you?

 **Tyler:** [ _lifts up the leg proudly, showing Dave_ ]

 **Dave:** Are you kidding? That looks nothing _like_ Max’s leg!

 **Noah:** Nor does it need to, given the lack of a "Max" present.

 **Dave:** [ _he just. Looks at Noah, and his eye twitches_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dave:** I thought Chris said I wasn’t competing this season! Was I _lied_ to? _Again?_ That makes me so _angry_ that I might do something! What _could_ I do, though? [ _taps his chin with the island controller obliviously_ ] _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Izzy has grown tired of chasing the bear, and returns to the site of the challenge. Eva is working on a wooden leg much more proportionate to Owen’s actual leg._

**Izzy:** I miss anything?

 **Eva:** Just Tyler building his dumb girlfriend’s leg. I’m trying to make a better one.

 **Izzy:** Owen’s got a weak spot in his leg right about there. [points somewhere on the block.]

 **Eva:** [ _a bit annoyed_ ] Well, if you’re such an expert, why don’t you actually help make it?

 **Izzy:** Hey, great idea! I should totally do that! Get me some tools! We’re gonna get this done in no time flat!

_A short while later, the cameras are finally focusing on the Lions’ work. Scott has taken to whittling up a storm with Duncan, and the two of them have made leaps and bounds in progress. Every time they finish a piece of the Brick effigy, they hand it off to Zoey, who works on putting everything together (alone, she emphasises repeatedly). Owen keeps carrying wood to the whittling duo, and Courtney and Heather bring pieces of wood not being used for said purpose to the fire pit, as well as setting up some tinder and whatnot._

**Owen:** See, team? Everyone’s working together awesomely now! Ahah, we have _got_ this!

 **Heather:** Don’t put that wood there.

 **Courtney:** And why _not_?

 **Heather:** I was going to put this there. You can’t just _take_ my space like that.

 **Courtney:** _Your_ space? Who put you in charge?

 **Heather:** I’m the _real_ leader, of course.

 **Courtney:** As if! If anyone’s got the real authority on this group, it’s still me!

 **Owen:** Almost! _Almost_ everyone's working together awesomely!

 **Scott:** She’s cute when she’s all angry and authoritative.

 **Duncan:** [ _grinning_ ] You’re telling me, dude.

 **Scott:** Oh, right, you two used to be a thing, huh?

 **Courtney:** [ _happens by, picking up some firewood_ ] You’re not trying to ask him for relationship advice, are you?

 **Scott:** There a problem with that?

 **Courtney:** The “problem” is that the least terrible thing he could probably suggest is “toss her aside and then keep clamoring for her approval afterwards.”

 **Scott:** Oh, I see! You mean like that list you made with me over Gwen, right?

 **Courtney:** Zip it! [ _storms off_ ]

 **Scott:** What’d I say?

 **Duncan:** Probably just the truth. Girl’s got a bit of a temper when it comes to people being right about 'er.

_Zoey swings by and just takes the final needed piece as soon as Duncan and Scott have finished it, quickly attaching it to the Brick effigy._

**Zoey:** There. Now, _I_ will bring it over to the-

_A loud thump is heard, which turns out to be Eva slamming the Owen statue into the center of the fire pit, it standing as a very reasonable approximation of Owen’s features. Everyone on the Otters stands in admiration._

**Brick:** Stylish, well-made… Wait, that leg…

 **Tyler:** [ _says something incomprehensible while looking down in embarrassment. Turns out they kept the Lindsay leg on the Owen statue for time._ ]

 **Brick:** I like it! Excellent touch, Tyler! Dawn, care to do the honors?

_Tyler smiles proudly._

**Dawn:** [ _nods and ruffles through her own clothes, quickly producing the lighter_ ]

 **Zoey:** [ _running the Brick effigy over to the second fire pit as quickly as she can muster, even knocking Heather and Courtney over as she rushes and places the Brick effigy in its place. Dawn watches interestedly for a few seconds, angering Anne Maria_ ]

 **Anne Maria:** This is takin’ too long! I’ll jus’ do it before the Lions actually get their thing in place. [ _snatches the lighter from Dawn’s hands and activates it, taking a step towards the Owen statue._ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dave:** [ _still tapping his chin with the controller_ ] Wait a minute… [ _lifts it up_ ] I’ve got it! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Dave:** [ _cackles before pressing a single button on the controller, watching from out of every contestant’s sight just inside the forest_ ] Sorry, Topher, but revenge  _always_ takes precedence!

_Thanks to Dave’s intervention, a rock is suddenly sticking out of the ground, right in Anne Maria’s footpath. Naturally, this leads to her stumbling, and then tripping. The lighter remains steadfastly lit throughout this, even as it flies into the air and lands right in Anne Maria’s hair, setting it ablaze. She immediately screams in horror for the well-being of her hair and begins running around madly._

**Anne Maria:** My hair! My poof! Someone puddit out! Puddit out! [ _in her running around, she runs past and ignites the Brick statue, completely failing to notice this as she shouts out strings of expletives, the likes of which are bleeped out for the courtesy of little kiddies’ ears._ ]

 **Chris:** …and the Limelight Lions _win!_ Took ‘em long enough!

 **Noah:** You mean one challenge?

 **Chris:** One challenge longer than they were _supposed_ to take!

_Anne Maria continues to run around in the background throughout all of this, though Eva and Brick both try to stop/help her. Duncan runs off towards the beach._

**Chris:** Otters, one of you’ll be going home. You should know the drill: vote for one of your teammates, then meet back here for the campfire ceremony tonight.

_Anne Maria’s running is met with a halt when Duncan returns with a bucket of water, quickly throwing it over her head._

**Anne Maria:** [ _breathing heavily_ ] Thanks, guy. You’re my hero right about now.

 **Duncan:** Am not!

 **Anne Maria:** Ah, whatever, least no one’s hurt. Whew, I feel a lot lighter now, though. Musta worked off a ton of weight just now!

 **Heather:** Oh, dear. [ _looks sympathetically at Anne Maria_ ]

 **Anne Maria:** Whatsamatter? Somethin’ on my face? [ _produces a hand mirror, before looking at herself with horrified realization. Her hair was burned off. She faints from the sheer shock._ ]

 **Chris:** Heh, I wonder who’s going home this time.

_And then the campfire ceremony was cut to. The Limelight Lions are now sitting in the very nice chairs behind Chris. Well, Owen’s trying to, anyway. The familiar tune of the beginning of an elimination ceremony plays._

**Chris:** Obscure Otters. You’re here a challenge late!

 **Brick:** Uh, sir, we won the previous episode's challenge.

 **Chris:** I _know_. Quit reminding me. Now, again, you know how it goes. Marshmallows, safety, no marshmallows, gone. Eva, Izzy, Noah, Dawn, Tyler, you’re all safe.

_Chris throws the marshmallows in that order. Eva smiles a little upon getting hers, Dawn catches hers tiredly, and Tyler’s attempts to eat his are met with a renewed realization of his throat being blocked. Eva quickly slaps his back and sends the marshmallow flying from his mouth, into Chef’s face. He wipes it off, unamusedly._

**Noah:** About time I got one of these.

 **Chris:** What about World Tour? ...Oh, right. I forgot to keep giving those out. My bad.

 **Duncan:** Dude was still the first one voted off our team.

 **Noah:** For no reason, mind you.

_Tyler attempts to raise an objection, but the words continue to fail to come out._

**Chris:** May I continue? Anyway! Brick, you… Voted for yourself. That’s about it. Can’t see why, but. Gotta say something to the bottom two.

 **Brick:** As leader, I must take responsibility for the failures under my watch.

 **Heather:** You would rather Anne Maria be forced to spend the rest of the season parading around _bald_? On _international television_?

 **Anne Maria:** Heather’s absolutely right! I ain’t doin’ that! Chris, I’m ready, I’m willin’, I wanna get goin! Give Brick the freakin’ marshmallow an’ _get me outta here!_

 **Chris:** Alright, alright! Jeez, you really hate suspense, don’t you, Anne Maria? [ _throws a marshmallow to Brick_ ]

 **Heather:** [ _approaches Anne Maria_ ] I have a lot of wigs back home. A girl being forced to lose all her hair is just the _worst_ thing. Even _I_ wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

 **Anne Maria:** Ey, that’s pretty alright of ya! Maybe I’ll take y’up on that one when this is all over fer you too.

 **Heather:** As if _that’s_ happening any time soon.

 **Anne Maria:** Yeah, yeah, rootin’ for ya and stuff. [ _significantly calmer now, wanders towards the former site of the cannon of shame_ ] Ayo, this was where you told Mike to stand, right?

 **Chris:** Yep! Press the button, intern!

_A giant boot flies in from above, kicking Anne Maria off of the island._

**Chris:** Another challenge, another elimination. Will the Otters continue to fulfill their rightful cannon fodder duties? What repercussions will Owen as an official leader have? Will Tyler be able to speak again by the next episode? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Some Stars!

 

_Credits roll._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's another chapter come and gone. Sad to see Anne Maria go, believe me. Dollar and I both like her character a lot. It's why we put her in here to begin with. But hey, all but two characters gotta go sometime or another in this game, and we still have plans for everyone else. Oh, well, at least we plan to do what the show's been forgetting to do, and feature all of the eliminated competitors in the finale, so at least she isn't gone forever.


	3. Episode 3 - Lead and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The leaders of each team are tasked with seeking in one of two simultaneously-running games of Hide and Seek along the entire island, seeking out the other members of the opposite team. A powerful new alliance seems to be forming, but will it last?

****

**Chris:** Last time on _Total Drama: Some Stars_ …

_Tyler biting the manchineel fruit, followed by several shots of him attempting to speak, and Dawn passing out at the cave’s entrance, then later curled up on one of the chairs, are shown._

**Chris:** Tyler didn't realize that he shouldn't eat strange fruits on mysterious islands, and lost his voice all episode. [ _chuckles_ ] Meanwhile, Dawn didn't get much sleep the night before the challenge, and spent much of it a tired mess.

_Anne Maria spraying her hair and Noah looking disgusted are shown, followed by her nearly attacking him. Then it shifts to the Lions’ impromptu morning picnic, complete with Zoey being an edgelord who refused to partake._

**Chris:** Noah and Anne Maria had a bit of difficulty, and meanwhile, thanks to the super duper nice and heroic Duncan, the Lions had one heck of a breakfast! Well, all except for Zoey!

_Scott kicking dirt on some sausages and splitting the block of wood Heather and Courtney were carrying, and Brick and Owen standing near Chris are shown._

**Chris:** Scott tried to prove himself to be a bad boy to Courtney, and the teams both had official leaders chosen. The Limelight Lions got Owen, and Brick now officially represents the Obscure Otters.

_Piles of wood, Duncan and Dawn showing off their lighters, and Tyler making a wooden version of Lindsay’s leg are shown._

**Chris:** After that, the teams were tasked with using the graciously-provided wood to make an effigy of the opposite team’s leader. Eheh, sucks to be the Otters.

_Heather and Courtney arguing, Eva slamming the Owen statue-complete with Lindsay’s leg-into its proper place, followed by Zoey scrambling to transport the Brick effigy, is shown._

**Chris:** But since it took longer for the Lions to get their acts together, it looked like they were well on their way to another loss.

_Anne Maria snatches up Dawn’s lighter. Dave looks angered at the presence of Noah, then he’s seen secretly tripping Anne Maria using the controller._

**Chris:** However, Dave proved not to be super faithful about his alliance with Tyler, and secretly used his powers to help the better team, taking advantage of Anne Maria’s impulsiveness.

_Anne Maria’s hair catching on fire, Anne Maria igniting the Brick statue, Duncan throwing the water over her head, Anne Maria fainting at the site of her own bald head, and Anne Maria getting the boot are shown._

**Chris:** She became the most recent Total Drama contestant to lose her hair in a freak accident, and then the second Some Stars contestant to get the boot!

_Chris and Chef Hatchet are roasting marshmallows over the burning remains of the Brick effigy, the second fire pit and Owen’s statue gone with zero explanation._

**Chris:** Will the Otters fall into a losing streak? Will Courtney and Heather just admit they’re similar instead of wasting time fighting? Will… uh…

 **Chef:** Will Chris be able to think of a third question?

 **Chris:** Will I _dock Chef’s pay_ if he doesn't shut up?

 **Chef:** Alright, alright… Guy can take a hint.

 **Chris:** Find out this very episode, on _Total. Drama. Some Stars!_

 

_\-- The opening plays again. Chapter 1’s there if you need it. --_

 

_Izzy and Eva are walking through the woods in search of food. Tyler has been exempt from any and all foraging ever since the manchineel incident. Eva’s hand rash is now gone._

**Izzy:** ...and then that intern ran off crying! Ahahaha, good times…

 **Eva:** You mean five minutes ago.

 **Izzy:** And already I’m feeling nostalgic…

_The duo happens by Zoey, who accidentally bumps into Eva._

**Eva and Zoey:** [ _in agitated tones_ ] Watch it!

 **Zoey:** You’re the one who got in my way

 **Eva:** You should’ve still been watching where you’re going! [ _forming a fist_ ]

 **Izzy:** Ooh, is a fight about to go down? Sounds interesting! Eheh, I’ll just go, um, get some popcorn! [ _runs off_ ]

 **Eva:** [ _growls at Zoey_ ]

 **Zoey:** Um… Bring it on! [ _cracks her knuckles_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Zoey:** I’d never actually been in a fight before, but looking tough is the first step towards being tough! I couldn’t show Eva any weakness! [tightens her headband] _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Elsewhere in the woods, Brick is doing various morning exercises with Tyler and Dawn. At the moment, he’s in some combination of stretching his legs and looking unnerved yet amazed at Tyler’s own flexibility, the sportsman’s legs wrapping around his head from behind and crossing in front of his chest as he stands on his hands. His hand rash is now gone._

**Brick:** Um… How did you get such excellent form, soldier?

 **Tyler:** Fall enough times, and you fall in some pretty _extreme_ ways! I actually was stuck like this for like a day, before my dad found me!

 **Dawn:** The same father who you sometimes worry is the only one to unconditionally respect you?

 **Tyler:** Not true! Lindsay does, too!

 **Dawn:** Then why are you competing to win for her?

 **Tyler:** That’s different! Wait, how did you..?

 **Dawn:** It’s all over your aura, Tyler.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dawn:** Meditating during Brick’s designated exercise time has allowed me to clear my mind, and sense things all the better. Perhaps soon I shall have a major breakthrough as to what causes this island’s bizarreness. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Izzy:** [ _runs into the trio_ ] Hey, guys, come check it out! Eva and Zoey are totally about to start fighting!

 **Brick:** A fight? That can’t be allowed! Show me to it!

_Izzy leads Brick and Dawn back to where she left Zoey and Eva._

**Tyler:** …

_Tyler lingers silently for several moments, apparently not immediately realizing they left._

**Tyler:** Eva and Zoey are fighting?! We gotta stop that! [ _starts to untangle himself_ ]

_Back with Eva and Zoey, Zoey somersaults out of the way of a large rock being thrown at her before attempting to tackle Eva, who grabs her arm and throws her down. Right around this time, Izzy, Brick, and Dawn arrive._

**Izzy:** See? I told you!

 **Brick:** Eva, as leader, I order you to stand down!

 **Eva:** [ _has pinned Zoey down, fist raised_ ] _Make me!_

 **Dawn:** Eva, Zoey, is this truly what you want to do? You mustn't succumb to your frustrations and act violently! What is there to gain out of this?

 **Eva:** [ _looks between Dawn and Zoey for a moment, before sighing, her expression softening_ ] You’re right… again.

 **Dawn:** [ _smiles_ ] I hope you two may forgive one another.

_Eva gets off of Zoey, offering her a hand up._

**Zoey:** I don’t need your help! [ _stands up on her own, walking off_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Eva:** I’m really glad Dawn is here to help me out with my temper. People’d probably be leaving in body bags without her. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Heather is wandering the woods alone._

**Heather:** Stupid Courtney, with her stupid “I am a CIT, you are so rude to everyone..!” Makes me sick is what it… [ _trips over Tyler, still trying to get unstuck_ ] Ow! Watch it, Major Injury!

 **Tyler:** Not now, Heather! I’ve gotta stop Eva and Zoey before someone-

 **Heather:** Save it. I was actually looking for you.

 **Tyler:** You were? What’s that for?

 **Heather:** I know we’re on opposite teams and all, but what would you say to forming a little alliance?

 **Tyler:** With me?

 **Heather:** Yes, with you. An inter-team alliance will be and unexpected in this first half of the competition, and if it’s big enough, unstoppable after the merge.

 **Tyler:** Hmm… Sounds like a plan! A good plan!

 **Heather:** Excellent. When your team loses this next challenge, come and find me and I’ll tell you and the other alliance member who needs to be voted off.

 **Tyler:** Uh, who’s that?

 **Heather:** Um, _duh_. We all know you've got a big mouth, so I’m not gonna just tell you right before the challenge.

 **Tyler:** [ _has finally untangled himself and stood up_ ] I guess that’s a fair point…

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Heather:** I was finally able to swing Izzy on the idea of an alliance, and that dumb farmboy, Scott? Way too simple. Tyler and Izzy will be cutting Noah if the Otters lose, since he is _obviously_ the real head of their team, not Private Pea-brain. I’m not sure if I can get Scott to drop Courtney with me, sadly, but if my team loses, that still leaves me with a bunch of other options. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Chris:** [ _over a loudspeaker_ ] Attention, campers! It’s about time for your challenge, so get down to the challenge briefing area pronto!

_The twelve contestants are now sitting in said area, as Chris stands at a podium, Dave and Chef Hatchet at either side._

**Chris:** Hey, Dave, remember that challenge where Sky ripped your heart out so hard you broke down and got yourself eliminated?

 **Tyler:** [ _raises his eyebrows_ ] Ouch…

 **Dave:** Ah, yes… the first sign that I never should have trusted her! But she’ll see! She will see! [begins laughing evilly]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Tyler:** [ _still entirely oblivious to the true nature of Dave’s feelings about Sky_ ] My new buddy Dave really wants to let this Sky girl know how he feels, and I can respect that! I know how it feels to have trouble with your girl because she’s on the opposite team! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Chef:** [ _shoves Dave down, cutting off his laughter_ ] Quiet down, scrawny kid.

 **Dave:** Ow… I think I got dirt on my shirt…

 **Chris:** Anyway! That challenge and this challenge are gonna be pretty similar. You will be playing… Hide and seek! Leaders seek, everyone else hides!

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Brick:** Finally, a challenge that puts my military training to good use. I’m really feeling this one! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** I still remember how I did in the paintball challenge during the first season. I’m not sure I’m cut out to seek! I couldn't even find Izzy two episodes ago, and this time she’s really trying to hide! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Dave and Chef Hatchet are tying blindfolds around the eyes of Brick and Owen, respectively._

**Brick:** Uh,sir, is it necessary for it to be this… dark?

 **Chris:** To prevent the possibility of cheating, you’re not to remove these blindfolds until the count of one-hundred. Do your best not to wet yourself in fear in those couple minutes.

 **Brick:** [ _salutes, accidentally knocking Dave over. Dave cries._ ] I will do my best, sir!

 **Owen:** Ahah, that tickles, Chef!

 **Chef:** Just shut up and lemme blindfold you. [ _ties the blindfold a bit too tight. Owen looks pained._ ]

 **Chris:** Now, as soon as I start counting, the contestants get to hiding! First leader to find all the opposing team’s players win. In the event that this doesn't happen by tonight, the winner will be decided based off of who found the most people. Now, start the countdown!

 **Dave:** [ _produces his controller before pressing a button._ ]

_On a nearby screen, a “1” appears, and a synthesized voice calls out the number. This then occurs for “2,” “3,” “4,” so on. The contestants run off in various directions, with the exceptions of Noah, who calmly sits down and flips through a book, and Tyler, who stands around for awhile._

**Dave:** Um, Topher..? It’s been like 20 seconds. Don’t you think you should-

 **Tyler:** Seek all you want, Owen, but I can _not_ be found! Extreme hiding! [bolts off, cheering]

_Noah, Dave, Chris, Chef, Brick, and Owen all look confused. Noah is the first to cease looking confused._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dave:** Okay, I had a bit of a knee-jerk reaction last time. It’s good if I’m back in the game! That’s what I _want_! I should make it up to me and Topher’s team by trying extra hard if they need it! With that guy on their team, they probably will! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Scott is seen crudely covering himself in dirt after digging a small hole. Courtney walks by, looking less than amused._

**Courtney:** You call that _hiding_? Sure, Brick’s not bright, but he’s not _that_ dumb!

 **Scott:** Hey, if it worked on kitchen rats, it’ll work on that guy!

 **Courtney:** [ _raises a finger questioningly, but knows Scott well enough by now to not question that sentence. Lowers the finger._ ] Whatever. I’m going to find a _real_ hiding spot. Don’t get yourself caught and voted off.

 **Scott:** Will do! Er… won’t do! The one that involves getting not catched… caught!

_Courtney walks away._

**Heather:** [ _her head pokes out of a nearby bush_ ] Good. You were noticed, and she didn’t even think to look for other people nearby. This alliance is going places.

_Izzy’s head pops out from above the screen, and as soon as she speaks up, Heather and Scott look moderately surprised._

**Izzy:** Aha, yeah! Goin’ places! Like the final four! Aha, yeah!

_Scott and Heather look up at her, unamused._

**Izzy:** Sandwiches? [ _her arm appears from above the screen, holding a container similar to the stolen containers from Duncan’s escapade in the second episode._ ]

_Speaking of Duncan, he and Zoey bump into each other while running and seeking out a hiding spot._

**Zoey:** Watch it!

 **Duncan:** A repeat of this morning, eh? I’d say I’m game, but I don’t think either of us wants to be that guy private tightwad found first, so let’s skip it.

 **Zoey:** If you don’t want to be found, then why are you still _talking_?

 **Duncan:** Why’re you?

 **Zoey:** Well, because I...uh… [ _her expression softens for a moment, looking more confused than annoyed, before going back to a scowl_ ] Forget it!

 **Duncan:** Fine, fine. We’ll settle this later. Right now, I’m gonna go win a challenge.

_Duncan runs off._

**Zoey:** “Settle this later…” _What does that even mean?!_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Duncan:** It sounded like it fit the conversation. I’m a criminal, not a linguist. Talk to Princess if you want some lame speech. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Dawn and Eva are walking together._

**Eva:** So what you’re saying is that animals normally do listen and talk back to you.

 **Dawn:** Well.. not exactly talking, but I suppose that’s an apt enough description, yes.

 **Eva:** And since you got here… they _aren't_.

 **Dawn:** No, they aren't. It’s quite distressing.

 **Eva:** Sounds like a weird deal. Feel better finally getting it off your chest, though?

 **Dawn:** Somewhat… I cannot say that my tensions are entirely eased, though asking for that so easily would have likely been a bit… much. Thank you for listening, Eva.

 **Eva:** Hey, no problem. I owe you for all the help with-

 **Synthesized Voice:** [ _loudly, off in the distance_ ] One-hundred.

 **Eva:** Crap! We haven’t even hidden yet! I’ll catch you later, Dawn. [ _runs off after giving Dawn a quick wave_ ]

_Dawn walks away in the opposite direction calmly._

**Brick:** Alright, time to finally put my skills to a real test! [ _untying his blindfold_ ] That was barely even scary! This is a good sign of-

 **Owen:** Alright! Ready or not, _here I come_! Woohoo! [ _tears off and throws away his blindfold. It accidentally hits Brick so hard he gets knocked over, squealing in pain and covering the, er, sensitive area that was struck. Owen begins to run, and sees Noah mere seconds later, still in that same spot._ ]

 **Noah:** [ _looks up, flips the page of his book_ ] ‘Sup.

 **Owen:** Woohoo! First mining attempt and Owen has _struck gold_!

 **Noah:** Mhm, you sure put in that effort, buddy.

 **Owen:** Eheh, yeah. More effort for the rest of the Otters, then!

 **Brick:** [ _stands up, looks sternly at Noah_ ] Noah! You’ve made no attempt to hide, despite clear orders to do so!

 **Noah:** [ _in a mockery of Brick’s voice_ ] Sir, I really wasn’t feeling the whole “wasting my time running and hiding” thing, sir.

_Owen chuckles._

**Brick:** [ _glares at Noah even more_ ] Watch your wit, soldier. [ _not wanting to waste more time that could be dedicated to seeking those who are hiding, runs off_ ]

 **Noah:** [ _marks his page before shutting the book and standing up_ ] Mind if I tag along for your little expedition, big guy?

 **Owen:** No, of course not! Uh, I mean...if that’s allowed?

 **Chris:** Not a rule against it.

 **Owen:** Awesome! Lemme show you how the other team plays, little buddy!

_Everyone present stares at Owen for a moment._

**Owen:** ...that came out wrong! Lemme rephrase it! Uh...

 **Noah:** Let’s just go.

 **Owen:** …good idea!

_Owen and Noah run off. The scene shifts to Brick, running through the forest alone._

**Brick:** Alright… It’s just some big scary woods… Alone… but the object of the game is finding people! You can keep it together! You’re the leader! You- [ _trips over Scott, slamming face-first into a nearby tree. His “loopy” face forms_ ] D’oy! Foun’ somebody!

 **Scott:** Oh, man! And here I thought my disguise was flawless! Especially since no one else even thought of this prime spot!

_Chewing sounds are heard from the treetops, followed by the container formerly holding the sandwiches dropping down into a nearby set of bushes._

**Heather:** Ow! [ _stands up, rubbing her head. Looks up_ ] Izzy, when you get down here, I’m going to-

 **Izzy:** [ _drops down, right in front of Heather_ ] Do what?

 **Heather:** I’m going to… [ _looks unsure of how to finish the sentence_ ] Kick you out of the alliance! You’re gone! Don’t try asking for forgiveness, because I’m not even going to consider-

 **Brick:** Derr, orange and green lady’s gone! Found you though! Now I gonna go find more lions! [runs off]

_Eva is hiding and watching as Owen lumbers near. She looks a bit concerned she’ll be caught in her relatively elementary hiding spot._

**Owen:** I dunno, though! She hasn’t even said a word to me since before the show started!

 **Noah:** Way I see it, it’s for the better.

_Owen and Noah completely pass Eva by. Noah shoots her a brief acknowledging glance._

**Noah:** The girl is dangerous. Remember how you wanted to dump her?

 **Owen:** Well, yeah, but I've regretted it ever since!

 **Noah:** Bro, three full seasons have aired since _World Tour_. Don’t let getting dumped on international TV make you go crazy like Dave.

 **Owen:**  I guess…

_Eva just looks moderately surprised at the ease of her avoiding capture. Elsewhere, Brick, back to normal now, continues searching the island for the remaining four Lions. He sees something rustle._

**Brick:** Found ya! [ _smiles and approaches the bush_ ]

_A bear, clad in scuba gear, backwards cap, and a pair of binoculars around its neck, comes out of said bush and roars, chasing Brick with a scream from the cadet. Pan out to Chris and Dave watching the action from a TV screen._

**Dave:** Oh, hey, it’s Pasta B-

 **Chris:** [ _shoves Dave out of the camera’s view and chuckles_ ] Looks like Brick has found _Sneaking_ Bear!

 **Dave:** Why do you keep using the same bear for challenges? You have more than one.

 **Chris:** _Sneaking. Bear._

_Back with Brick properly, he runs past Duncan, hiding somewhere by the base of the mountain, who jumps out and scares the bear off. Brick turns around and sees this._

**Brick:**  You’re a lifesaver, sir! I salute you… you’re still found, though.

 **Duncan:** Dang it! Also, your own scent isn't a very good disguise, Private Pee-pants.

 **Brick:** All a defense tactic, I assure you! By marking myself as territory, I would show myself as the Alpha, and not get attacked!

 **Duncan:** Whatever helps your pride, bro.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Duncan:** Man, even _prison_ couldn't bring my edge all the way back. I keep helping people out. I dunno what blows worse, that, or that I don’t feel all too bad about it. …Wait, take that back-! [END CONFESSIONAL]

 **Owen:** [ _walking with Noah still_ ] ...and then I was like, [ _in a mockery of Courtney’s voice_ ] “CIT here to remind everyone there’s no fun allowed! Stop farting so close outside the treehouse! I’m so neat and refined and better, so let me tell you what to do!”

_Noah chuckles. Owen looks delighted at having made Noah laugh yet again, and then frowns again._

**Owen:** I felt a bit bad to say that stuff right in front of the whole team, even if even _Scott_ thought it was hilarious.

 **Noah:** [ _still smirking_ ] I wouldn't worry about it, big guy. It’s not like you’re gonna get voted off for letting it all out.

_[FLASHBACK TIME]_

_This time, the flashbacks go all the way back to episode 4 of Island! Various shots of Noah’s lines from the episode are cut to._

_**Noah:** Sports. Not my forte, remember?_

_**Noah:** Woohoo, way to throw those murder balls. Go, team, go._

_**Noah:** What can I say? Weak effort. [_ various members of the Screaming Gophers glare at him _] I have to say, the team spirit here is really lacking._

_The flashback cuts to Noah again, just after Lindsay received the final marshmallow of the same episode._

_**Noah:** [_ in an abnormally shocked, offended, and genuinely haughty tone _] Alright, see if I care, because you just voted out the only one with any brains on this team._

_Flashback!Noah is pelted with marshmallows. Cut way ahead to World Tour, episode 13._

_**Owen:** Why don’t ya like Al? He’s great!_

_**Noah:** I don’t trust the guy. He’s like an eel, dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil._

_Later on in the same episode, on that season’s plane after the challenge’s completion._

_**Noah:** You were watching everything?_

_Alejandro nods._

_**Noah:** Wow, that’s… awkward._

_Still later on in the episode, Noah has had his elimination announced. He leaps from the plane, parachute on back, as was World Tour’s elimination procedure._

_[END FLASHBACK]_

**Owen:** [ _smiles_ ] ...yeah, I guess you’re right! I’m feeling better about it already!

 **Courtney:** [ _emerges from some offscreen hiding spot_ ] What are you _doing_ , Owen? You’re spending so much time talking to _Noah_ that you haven’t even found anyone else on his team! Are you going to cost us another challenge?

 **Brick:** [ _runs by the trio_ ] Found another one! [ _continues running by_ ]

 **Courtney:** [ _glares at Owen_ ] This is your fault.

 **Chris:** [ _over a loudspeaker_ ] Attention, contestants! The Otters only have one commando left to find! Lions, _please_ step up your game! I dunno if my wallet can _take_ another one of you going down this early in the season!

 **Courtney:** You _heard_ him, Owen! Go, go!

 **Owen:** Sorry, Noah! We’ll keep talking later! [ _bolts off in another direction_ ]

_In a particularly dark spot of the forest, Zoey sits alone in some treetops._

**Zoey:** Looks like everything’s on me. No problem… uh, I think.

_Nearby, Brick’s running slows to a crawl at the darkness of this section of woods._

**Brick:** Er… no way anyone’s in there! Uh, right? [ _shivers a bit, hesitating to enter._ ]

 **Chris:** [ _over the loudspeaker once again_ ] _Owen_! Seriously, get your butt in gear!

_Owen hears this from somewhere else entirely, namely the location of Eva’s hiding place._

**Owen:** He’s right! I can’t keep letting my friends down like this! _Ready or not, here I cooooooooome!_

_Owen plows right through the bush without noticing Eva, only stopped from trampling her by her own strength._

**Eva:** Whoa, hold it! You found me, no need to rub it in!

 **Owen:** Gotcha! [ _chuckles_ ] My hunter’s instincts are back and _more existent than ever_! [ _runs off yet again_ ]

_The scenes cut between Brick, slowly walking closer to where Zoey may be hiding, and Owen closing in on Dawn and Tyler, Dawn looking impressed at Tyler’s continued contortion. They look up, hearing rumbling._

**Tyler:** Is that some kinda stampede? I heard last season had angry moose hordes!

 **Dawn:** No, I sense that… The source of these footsteps is human!

 **Owen:** _Found youuuuuuuuuuuu!_

_Owen nearly tackles Tyler and Dawn, them barely rolling and nonchalantly walking out of the way, respectively. He hits a tree, hard enough to knock the bark off, revealing the electronic components underneath._

**Dawn:** This… This tree is no tree! This “tree” is a mockery of Mother Nature!

_Tyler’s rolling led to him hitting a rock, knocking it over, revealing a hole into the island’s mechanical underbelly._

**Tyler:** Think it might not just be the tree.

 **Dawn:** [ _leans over the edge and glances in, looking wholly appalled and shocked_ ] This entire island is not real! It all makes sense now! The disturbance, the animals… And here I had thought that Wawanakwa’s atrocities were an affront.

 **Tyler:** Uh… what’s the big deal, exactly?

 **Dawn:** The “big deal” is that this place ought not exist! These animals are mechanical mockeries of the ones that grace this world.

 **Owen:** Uh… That’s a tragedy, and all, but I’m just gonna… Walk this way… Look for the last Otter… Which is… Oh. [runs off, not meeting a response from either of them for several moments]

 **Tyler:** We’ll never tell you where Izzy is!

_Back with Zoey, she is slowly watching Brick approach from below, yet to look up and notice her. She tosses a rock into some bushes behind Brick, causing them to rustle loudly._

**Brick:** [ _turns around, voice cracking a bit_ ] Zoey, is that you?

_He hears the shifts of the leaves of the trees and branches above him as Zoey leaps to a different one while he’s distracted._

**Brick:** A-alright, soldier… Not a big deal. It’s not like that means th-there’s _definitely_ something besides Zoey here, and… After you. Be brave, private! Your team’s counting on your leadership, and that means checking the last place to be checked!

_Elsewhere, Owen is running around and comes across Scott and Heather._

**Owen:** [ _panting_ ] Izzy! Have you seen! Where!

 **Heather:** Crazy girl? She got me caught earlier from in the trees and then ran off. Of course, it was _still_ because Scott here didn't draw enough attention.

 **Scott:** Hey, I know a thing or two about human meatshields in this competition. I was doing _fine_!

 **Owen:** So she was around here! Great! Which way did she go?

_Heather and Scott shoot each other glances, as if silently asking if the other knows, before Scott shrugs. Owen cries out in frustration, then keeps running along, looking up in the trees and calling out Izzy’s name._

**Brick:** Okay, Zoey is probably gonna be in the trees. Just focus on the skies, don’t be afraid… [ _starts to climb a tree_ ]

_By coincidence, this is the same tree Zoey is currently hiding in. She looks down, concerned that she’ll be found as soon as his head pokes through the cover of the leaves. Nearby her is a beehive._

**Zoey:** Should I..? [ _hardens expression_ ] Can’t let personal connections get in the way! [ _reaches for the beehive with a sharpened rock, then pulls her hand back, unable to go through with it_ ]

 **Brick:** [ _head pokes through_ ] Light! Security! I knew I could get it done. [ _head turns toward Zoey_ ] Oh, hey.

 **Chris:** [ _screams in frustration. It can be heard throughout the island, even further amplified by the loudspeaker_ ]

 **Brick:** Wha-! [ _loses his grip on the tree at the sudden, very loud noise, falling and hitting the ground below with an offscreen thud. Zoey looks down, concerned._ ]

 **Chris:** [ _via loudspeaker_ ] The Otters win… again...

 **Dave:** [ _via loudspeaker_ ] Um, Chris, why are you crying?

_Cut ahead to later that night, as the Lions are discussing who to vote off._

**Courtney:** Owen, look what you did!

 **Owen:** Eheh, yeah… Sorry about that.

 **Duncan:** Hey, at least the dude went ham near the end there. [ _pats Owen’s back_ ]

 **Zoey:** In the end, it was everyone’s individual failures that led to this.

 **Heather:** What are you talking about? Mine wasn't my fault at all! Stupid Izzy hit me!

 **Scott:** It even made you kick her out of our inter-team alliance!

_Everyone looks surprised at Scott’s sentence._

**Courtney:** There is a _what_?

 **Scott:** Yeah, babe, there’s this thing that Heather started, and me and-

 **Heather:** Shush, _Scott_!

 **Courtney:** Heather, are you doing what I think you are?!

 **Heather:** Oh, please. What’s wrong with trying to get ahead in the game?

 **Courtney:** By stealing my boyfriend?

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Duncan:** Y’know, lookin' at this from the outside… it’s _really_ stupid. …Does that make me stupid? [END CONFESSIONAL]

 **Duncan:** Why so insecure, Princess?

 **Scott:** Maybe it’s because of that time Heather broke up a couple in season one as a way to kill their alliance potential!

 **Heather:** Dirtboy _watches TV?_

 **Scott:** My neighbors are _real_ gullible.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Scott:** And so are my _teammates_. [ _gains a familiar mischievous grin_ ] _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Zoey:** Wait, wait… I’m more about the working alone, but is it really worth kicking her out over this?

 **Courtney:** Of course!

 **Scott:** I’d never betray you, babe, but if you think it’s worth it to try to let her go…

 **Heather:** You wouldn't _dare_.

 **Courtney:** Oh, I would. You are _so_ going down.

_Duncan just watches this exchange with a disgruntled expression, arms folded as he leans against the tree holding their treehouse._

_Cut to the elimination area, the familiar tune of the beginning of an elimination ceremony. The Otters are again occupying the victors’ chairs. Everyone on their team except Dawn is smiling at Brick. Dawn is just pouting, glaring at the ground of the island._

**Dawn:** You are a _lie_.

 **Chris:** _Two out of three_ , guys? Come on! Producers are gonna dock my pay if I don’t keep you guys _in_ this!

 **Courtney:** Just get on with it.

 **Chris:** Fine, you’re right. Rip off the bandage. Duncan, Zoey, first marshmallows go to you. Nice selfless heroism in favor of keeping your hiding spot secure! [ _tosses them the marshmallows, smirking_ ]

_Duncan glares, Zoey rolls her eyes._

**Chris:** Courtney, also in no danger.

 **Courtney:** [ _catches a marshmallow, thrown at her from offscreen_ ] Of course not. [ _looks at Heather, grinning smugly_ ]

 **Chris:** Owen, not even bottom two. Nice rebound near the end there, bro.

_Owen smiles and catches the marshmallow in his mouth._

**Chris:** Heather, Scott, there’s only one marshmallow left on this plate, and two of you.

 **Heather:** Oh, just hurry it up!

 **Chris:** No! I’m milkin’ this one for all it’s worth! The final marshmallow...

_Scott grins, whereas Heather looks completely certain of her imminent elimination._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Duncan:** That Scott guy’s behavior’s stinking more than Owen. He ain't getting out of this one if I got anything to say. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Zoey:** _Scott_ starts up a team with the Heather, and suddenly reveals just enough about that to make her elimination-worthy? Some odds of that happening. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** Heather. Going. _Down._ _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Scott:** What can I say. All I had to do was make Heather look bad, and now one of the most competitively viable Lions is going down! I wonder who's next after Heather! Maybe goody-goody Duncan, or Zoey. I've still got a bone to pick with her for picking _that guy_ for the final two last time. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Heather:** It’s probably either me or Owen going home, so… Is this seriously all I can do?! This is not how this is supposed to end! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** [ _looking extremely conflicted_ ] Holy Hemingway, who do I _vote_ for?! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_FLASHBACK TIME_

_Owen is approached by Courtney sometime after Scott’s little “slip-up” in ousting Heather._

_**Courtney:** I can personally guarantee that you’ll be the one going home if it isn't Heather. I suggest you do the smart thing for once._

_Courtney leaves. Cut to a few minutes later, with Duncan approaching Owen._

_**Duncan:** That Scott guy’s up to no good. I mean I like Heather as much as the next guy, but at least she doesn’t try to seem like a lovable doofus to hide it._

_**Owen:** But Courtney said that it was her or-_

_**Duncan:** Yeah, I bet she did. You gonna believe that?_

_**Owen:** I… I dunno!_

_**Duncan:**   Just think on it, then._

_END FLASHBACK_

**Chris:** Lovin’ this suspense. As I was saying, final marshmallow…

_The[slightly longer version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-MWxwoSVGI) of the impending elimination theme plays. The camera shifts between Heather, terrified beyond all measure, Scott  and Courtney sneering at her and awaiting Heather's elimination, Chris looking between the two elimination candidates, Owen's stomach growling, and Noah's look of complete and utter indifference._

**Chris:** Heather!

 **Scott:** _What?_

 **Courtney:** Aha! In your face, _Heather!_

 **Heather:** Alright, alright, I get it. Don’t rub it in.

 **Chris:** No, no, neither of you seem to understand. Heather, I’m saying you are _safe!_

 **Heather and Courtney:** _What?_

 **Chris:** Yeah. I’m surprised too.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** …Duncan wouldn't lie about this sort of thing to me! Sorry, Scott. Thanks for introducing me to the fine world of a dirt connoisseur! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Courtney:** No, this can’t be right! Someone must have rigged the votes! I demand a recount!

 **Zoey:** Uh, Scott’s not exactly a super nice guy. Not a surprise people voted for him.

 **Courtney:** But it’s not like he’s some kind of mastermind! He probably couldn't even get _Ezekiel_ eliminated if he _tried!_

 **Scott:** [ _gritting his teeth as he talks, clearly less than flattered with Courtney's defense_ ] Thanks for sticking up for me, _babe_. [ _looks at Chris, nervously_ ] You’re not gonna replace the boot with a shark, or something like that, right?

 **Chris:** Dangit! That would've been a good idea, but I was honestly expecting Heather to be the one going home until it was too late to prepare.

 **Courtney:** I guess he’s right. It’ll be fine. Besides, we’ll see each other again when I’ve won, right?

 **Scott:** [ _still sounding moderately salty_ ] Right. After _you've_ won. [ _forces a smile. The forcedness is painfully obvious_ ] Just don’t forget about your bad boy while you’re competing and stuff! [ _flexes_ ]

 **Courtney:** [ _chuckles_ ] Oh, don’t worry, I won’t. Come here quickly, before you go!

_Courtney opens up her arms invitingly. Scott does the same, approaching her, sweet music playing, before the boot swings in from above and kicks him off of the island, the music stopping with a comical fizzle. Courtney glares in Dave’s direction._

**Dave:** [ _laughs_ ] Whoopsie daisy! [ _hides his controller behind his back_ ]

 **Tyler:**  Bro, that wasn't cool. What if someone kicked you off before you could say goodbye to  _your_ girl?

 **Dave:** [ _eye twitches_ ] Right. What if.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ Courtney: This is probably for the best, to be honest. Now there’s no way that boy trouble will get me unfairly eliminated a _fifth_ time. An obvious elimination hazard is still an obvious elimination hazard, no matter how cute. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Chris:** Well, this was a positively dramatic elimination ceremony! Probably the most so we’ve seen in entire seasons! Hopefully it’ll be enough for ratings that it makes up for this tragic loss of yet another Lion. Will Heather’s new alliance stay strong? Will Zoey just realize no one’s buying the “tough” act? How will Courtney screw it all up _this_ time? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Some Stars!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy, did we deviate from this one's planned path just now. If it wasn't obvious, our original intent was for Heather to be eliminated this episode, Scott advancing and revealing himself as the primary antagonist, secretly no less cunning than he was during Revenge, from this point onward. We had the plot structure from here on out planned with the consequences therein in mind. Then as Bored was writing out the scenes building up to her elimination, he came to question whether or not it really made sense for the classic Queen Bee to be the one sent home. We're not entirely sure yet to the extent that this will change the story (though the answer is most likely a resounding somewhat), but from now on we'll state major differences in the plot and its progression in these post-chapter notes.


	4. Episode 4 - The Hermit of Pahkitew Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this spOoOoOoky episode, the Lions and Otters simultaneously try to avoid being captured by, and try to capture a mysterious feral hermit. Who will be the hunter, and who will be the hunted? Who will receive another swift boot?

 

****

**Chris:** Last time, on _Total Drama: Some Stars_ …

_Heather’s forming the alliance with Tyler and talking it over with Scott and Izzy, followed by Eva and Zoey coming to blows, is shown, followed by Dawn talking Eva down._

**Chris:** Heather did about the only thing she’s actually all that good at as a _villain_ : forming an alliance of idiots. Eva finally got back to doing what we brilliant minds behind this show adored her for: playing poorly with others. Luckily for Zoey, sadly for ratings, Dawn was able to keep her from flipping her lid _completely_ . [ _sighs_ ] Someday…

_Everyone bar Brick, Owen, Noah, and Tyler running off as the former two are blindfolded is shown._

**Chris:** Then the campers were thrown into their challenge: A simple game of hide and seek. Leaders sought, everyone else hid.

_Owen immediately running into Noah is cut to, followed by showing Brick finding Scott, Heather, Duncan, and Courtney, the last of whom right next to Noah and Owen._

**Chris:** After about five seconds’ worth of effort, Owen pretty much blew off the challenge to talk to Noah. Boy, was Courtney upset about _that_ little blunder! [ _chuckles_ ]

_Owen suddenly going all-out and quickly finding Eva, Dawn, and Tyler, is shown._

**Chris:** He more than made up for it immediately after, though, going _wild_ and finding all but one of the Otters in record time, putting him on even grounds with Private Purposeless. Of course, Izzy was about as receptive to his looking for her as she was back in the first episode.

_Tyler and Dawn discovering the hole into the island’s mechanical underbelly is shown, followed by several shots of Dawn looking absolutely annoyed throughout the later moments of the episode._

**Chris:** Thanks to Owen’s sudden appearance and Tyler’s excellent coordination, Dawn found out that the island had a few secrets of its own. Took ‘em less time to figure it out than those jokers last season, I guess.

_Zoey failing to be able to go through with cutting down the beehive, followed by Brick’s finishing the challenge by finding her._

**Chris:** In the end, Zoey’s heart of gold showed itself again when she just _couldn’t_ let Brick get some bees to the face- again, a real shame -and the challenge was taken for the Otters.   
_Scott blabbing about Heather’s alliance, Scott’s revealing his true nature hasn’t actually changed in the confessional, Courtney and Duncan both approaching Owen, several shots from the bottom two moments of the elimination ceremony, and Scott’s shocking elimination are shown._

 **Chris:** Scott proved his team-killing ways weren’t really dead as the dirt of his diet as he seemed to imply, and spilled the beans about Heather’s secret alliance, and distrust was thrown right in her direction from Courtney… and from Duncan and Zoey, right at Scott. It all came down to whose words swayed Owen more, Courtney’s threats of elimination, or Duncan’s insistence against Scott. Shockingly, in the first _truly_ suspenseful elimination ceremony of the season, Scott was the one eliminated after having barely done any damage.

_Cut to Chris standing on the beach. It is nighttime behind him._

**Chris:** Who will make it to the fifth episode? Who will be given the fourth boot? Why is it nighttime? Find out right here, on _Total. Drama. Some Stars!_

_\-- cue opening --_

_Eva is bench-pressing a non-functioning robotic bear in some nondescript part of the woods, counting to herself._

**Eva:** Sixty-eight… Sixty-nine…

_The next time she brings the bear down, Izzy is revealed to have been lying on top of it the entire time._

**Eva:** …seventy!

_She sets the bear down, Izzy leaping off of it with a flip and landing next to her._

**Izzy:** Ahaha, and Svetlizzy sticks the landing!

 **Eva:** …Svetlizzy.

 **Izzy:** Yep! Cool, huh? Thought of it myself! Just now, in fact! Maybe I’ll change my name again…

 **Eva:** I wouldn’t go for it. It’d be in bad taste to that departed gymnast.

 **Izzy:** Huh. Maybe.

 **Eva:** That’s one of the most reasonable things I’ve ever heard you say.

 **Izzy:** Oh, was it? Maybe I should fix that! Hmm… Oh, I know! “Ebyam huh!”

 **Eva:** You don't need to “fix” it. Maybe people’d be less scared around you if you didn’t try to make everything about seeming "weird".

 **Izzy:** What’re you talking about? People adore me!

_A flashback montage of people being absolutely terrified of Izzy and her actions throughout the series is shown._

**Eva:** …right. Aren’t I one to talk, though. You and Noah were my only friends at all before Dawn, and I just met her less than a week ago.

 **Izzy:** [ _chuckles_ ] Oh, wow, that’s… [ _her_ _expression turns less happy in realization, as though the contents of the sentence have finally registered to her_ ] Uh, sorry to hear that!

 **Eva:** What was so _funny_?

 **Izzy:** Force 'o habit!

_At the Lions’ treehouse, Duncan notices Zoey on the roof. Everyone else seems to be asleep._

**Duncan:** [ _climbing up_ ] You figured somethin’ was up with Scott too, huh.

 **Zoey:** [ _still glaring off into the horizon, not turning to him_ ] I _figured_ two seasons ago. He hasn’t changed a bit, unlike someone who just got worse.

 **Duncan:** Uh huh, yeah, Mike, what a guy. You know, they say bein' vengeful makes ya age faster.

 **Zoey:** I’m not vengeful! [expression softens] ... Am I?

 **Duncan:** … There’s probably a better word for it, but it's clearly buggin' you either way.

 **Zoey:** Why wouldn’t it? [ _expression hardens again_ ] And why do you care?

 **Duncan:** What? I don’t, it's none of my business! I’ve just seen how this stuff can really make a bunch of people look like a bunch of tools, and no one wants to deal with that again. Plus, we’re gonna be a team for a bit longer, we and Owen gotta deal with Heather and Princess on our team, and it sucks for everyone if someone does nothing but be upset constantly.

_The scene shifts to Dawn, meditating in her team’s cave, an appalled look not having left her face since the last challenge. Brick, formerly lying asleep somewhat nearby, jolts up in fear._

**Brick:** Mommy! [ _looks at Dawn for several moments, rather awkwardly, before clearing his throat_ ] What are you doing up at these hours? A comrade in the suffering of night terrors, perhaps?

 **Dawn:** No.

 **Brick:** Awful blunt… You alright, Dawn?

 **Dawn:** Why would I be? This place is a mockery of nature! A mechanical marauder!

 **Brick:** Huh?

 **Dawn:** During the last challenge, Tyler and I discovered that the island is entirely artificial, with a labyrinthine mechanical underbelly.

 **Brick:** Well, yeah, that’s a bit of a shock, but you can’t let it defeat you! What would B say if he saw you getting this mad about technology?

 **Dawn:** …

 **Brick:** Exactly! And you know the exact tone of silence he would use! [ _looks around. The only one present besides them is Noah, ineffectually trying to sleep and looking annoyed whenever the others speak_ ] Wait, where are all the others?

 **Dawn:** Izzy and Eva seem to be training, but Tyler said not where he was going.

 **Brick:** That a man unaccounted for! This island might be dangerous at night… in… the dark…

 **Dawn:** Do you require company?

_Brick nods slowly, before he and Dawn rise and walk out of the cave. Noah smiles and closes his eyes, hoping to finally get back to sleep. Meanwhile, in the woods, Tyler is seen looking relieved and walking out from behind a tree._

**Tyler:** Sweet _relief_!

_A rustling sound is heard nearby._

**Tyler:** Uh… Dave, bro, that you? You don’t sneak up on a bro taking a leak, man!

_The camera’s perspective switches to inside a bush, Tyler being seen from behind._

**Tyler:** ...hello?

_The scene cuts back to Duncan and Zoey atop the treehouse._

**Duncan:** Well, this conversation’s been great and all, but I’m getting a bit bored of bothering you, so I’m just gonna- [ _looks down in preparation to climb back down to the bottom of the treehouse, noticing Owen, or rather a lack thereof, near the base of the tree where he normally lies_ ] Wait, where’s Owen?

 **Zoey:** He was there when we started talking, I’m sure of it! Maybe he’s sleepwalking again?

 **Duncan:** Yeah, probably. One of us should probably make sure he doesn’t startle a sleeping bear or something.

 **Zoey:** Not even a “not that I care for Owen’s safety?”

 **Duncan:** Hey, Owen’s always been alright. Hard _not_ to like the big guy.

 **Zoey:** [ _smiles briefly_ ] You do care about people! [ _eyes widen in realization before her expression returns to its hardened default_ ] Whatever. You find him then.

 **Duncan:** I think I will! And goodnight!

_Duncan leaps off of the treehouse’s roof from there. An unpleasant “thud” is heard, Zoey cringes, and finally Duncan is seen lying in pain on the ground below._

**Duncan:** [ _glaring upwards_ ] That didn’t happen.

 **Zoey:** Uh huh.

_Elsewhere, Owen is, in fact, sleepwalking around the woods. Tyler happens to run by, a look of absolute fear on his face. He quite literally bumps into Owen, prompting the jock to scream in shock, prompting the big guy to scream in shock. This carries on for a moment or two. Duncan is seen hearing the noise and running towards it._

**Tyler:** Oh! Owen!

 **Owen:** Tyler! What in the name of Victor Hugo is going on?

 **Tyler:** I think something’s following me, man! Something _weird_!

 **Owen:** ...is it Izzy?

 **Tyler:** I don’t think so. She and Eva were hanging out, last I checked.

 **Owen:** [ _looks disappointed_ ] Oh. [ _looks fearful_ ] Wait a minute… then that means it’s something !   
**Tyler:** I _know_!

 **Owen:** It’s… probably just one of Chris’ challenges, right?

 **Tyler:** You got a point. Chris, we can handle anything you throw at us! _Extreme_!

_Duncan’s head pokes out from behind a tree._

**Duncan:** Words of a dead man, dude.

_Tyler and Owen start screaming in shock once again, though it stops with realization far faster this time._

**Owen:** Duncan! Boy, am I glad to see you!

 **Duncan:** Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s just get back. Chris is probably pulling the surprise horror challenge card again.

 **Owen:** Yeah, probably. [ _turns towards Tyler’s direction_ ] Make sure my little buddy’s safe, alright?

_Tyler nods, grins, and gives a thumbs up, before walking off. Owen and Duncan do the same in another direction. Elsewhere, Brick is still looking for Tyler, with Dawn accompanying him with uncharacteristic indifference._

**Brick:** Er… Tyler?

 **Dawn:** Tyler is perfectly fine, I can assure you. Can we cease this tour of this falsified foliage?

_The camera focuses on Dawn as Brick speaks. Throughout his short speech, Dawn suddenly looks worried, before some humanoid figure swings by and grabs her, taking her with it._

**Brick:** Now, now, Dawn, you know we can’t do that! Tyler’s part of the team, after all, and even if I wasn’t leader I wouldn’t hesitate to keep looking for him, and he’d most definitely do it for me, or you, or even a few of the Lions! So we must continue seeking him out! Understand?

_He turns his head towards where Dawn was, noticing instead a complete lack of Dawn._

**Brick:** Dawn! [ _voice weakens_ ] Anyone? [ _looks around the area worriedly. The glow of eyes can be seen behind him._ ]

_The scene cuts to inside the Lions’ treehouse. Chris’ loudspeaker is heard starting up, waking up and annoying Courtney and Heather._

**Chris:** [ _via loudspeaker_ ] Attention, contestants! This is an emergency! Everyone gather by the briefing area _pronto_!

 **Heather:** An “emergency?” Seriously, Chris?! A _challenge_ this late?

 **Courtney:** Ugh, he does this every season.

 **Heather:** I know, but it never gets less unpleasant.

 **Courtney:** Ugh, agreed.

_The girls look at each other for a moment, silently._

**Courtney:** Maybe we are a bit similar…

 **Heather:** Save your sucking up, Courtney. Let’s just get this dumb briefing over with.

_Noah, having heard the message, also starts walking towards the location suggested, quickly running into Eva and Izzy._

**Noah:** Oh, good, another super spooky challenge.

 **Eva:** You think?

 **Izzy:** Ahah, it all makes sense! Nighttime, claims of an emergency announcement… I hope this means I get to fight Chef again!

 **Noah:** Uh huh. Have either of you seen the other half of our team?

_Both girls shake their heads._

**Noah:** Well, let’s find out what we need to do before we organize the search party. All we know Brick and Dawn found Tyler and just couldn’t get back before the announcement.

_The silhouette of a person or the glow of eyes can occasionally be seen in the background as they walk along. The scene shifts to the challenge briefing area. Everyone bar Brick and Dawn is present. Chris is escorted by Chef, in full plate armor, and Dave, dressed as a large t-bone steak, his fedora the only part of his previous wardrobe visible, to the podium._

**Dave:** Um, Chris, why am I dressed like this?

 **Chris:** So I don’t get eaten!

 **Dave:** Um… eaten by what?

 **Chris:** The feral hermit of Pahkitew Island, of course!

 **Owen:** The what now?

 **Chris:** Rumor has it that, in the time since the conclusion of the last season of this show, a strange, humanoid figure has been occasionally spotted on the island.

 **Dave:** Um, wasn’t that me? I mean, I was stuck here awhile after the show, and-

 **Chris:** -and this figure has been known to be completely feral, with a taste for human flesh!

_The shot pans out to everyone, looking at Chris with varying degrees of unamusement. Crickets chirp._

**Chris:** No dice, huh?

 **Noah:** This isn’t our first rodeo, McLean.

 **Chris:** Ugh, I really need some more genre blind contestants… Anyway, your challenge is-

 **Izzy:** Monster hunting! Ahaha, yeah! Gonna catch me someone dangerous!

 **Chris:** No, you’re wrong, Izzy! The challenge is-

 **Chef:** Uh, Chris, she’s right.

 **Izzy:** Woohoo, alright, point for the Izzy! MVP! High-five!

_Izzy raises her hands in the air. Noah and Eva glance at each other blankly before obliging._

**Chris:** Alright, you guessed right, jeez! Quit rubbin’ it in! Last team to have any members still not captured by the feral hermit, or the team with a member who’s able to catch them and bring ‘em to this spot, wins. [ _laughs_ ] Hope you had nice lives! [ _runs off with Chef to the beach. The sounds of a boat of some sort firing up and leaving are heard_ ]

 **Noah:** Alright, everyone present?

 **Tyler:** I don’t see Brick or Dawn around…

 **Eva:** Probably already gotten.

 **Noah:** I think we’ll manage just fine without.

 **Duncan:** Alright, let’s be perfectly real here. Much as someone’s gonna try for preaching this “stick together no matter what” stuff, I don’t think half of us are gonna follow through.

 **Heather:** As _if_ I’m missing a chance to split up with Courtney.

 **Courtney:** Heather, you’re just being unreasonable. I can’t stand you either, but we _have_ to do this. For the challenge!

 **Heather:** [ _sighs_ ] You’re right. [ _l eans in closer to Courtney and whispers_ ] Nothing stopping us from bringing a little live bait along, right?

_Heather jerks her head towards Tyler, now helping Dave out of his steak costume. He’s grabbing at a zipper and attempting to pull at it._

**Courtney:** [ _also whispering_ ] That’s… actually a pretty good idea. If the monster shows up, we can probably easily outdo _Tyler_.

 **Heather:** [ _walks over towards Tyler, who appears to have gotten his head stuck in the costume with Dave._ ] Hey, Tyler.

 **Tyler:** [ _something unintelligible_ ]

 **Heather:** [ _groans_ ] The things I’ll put up with. [ _yanks both him and Dave out of the costume in one quick movement. Dave’s hat falls to the ground in the action_ ]

 **Dave:** My class! [ _reaches for it, ineffectually covering his baldness with one hand, before Heather reaches it first_ ]

 **Heather:** Don’t worry, I’ve got it. [ _hands it to him_ ]

 **Dave:** Oh… thanks, Sugar!

 **Heather:** Ex _cuse_ me?

 **Dave:** That’s… your name, isn’t it?

 **Heather:** No! [ _expression lightens up facetiously_ ] It’s not a big deal, though. Would you and Tyler like to keep Courtney and I company?

 **Dave:** Well, I guess as long as you don’t do anything gross…

 **Tyler:** [ _raises his eyebrows nervously, looking at Courtney_ ] She’s not gonna try to hit on me again, is she?

 **Courtney:** What? Of course not! All water under the bridge now, right?

 **Tyler:** Uh… sure.

 **Zoey:** I’m taking care of this _alone_.

 **Duncan:** Why am I not surprised. [ _looks up at Owen_ ] Partner up?

 **Owen:** I’m game! _  
The various groups that were just set up all set off in different directions. The cameras first show us the misadventures of Heather, Courtney, Tyler, and Dave. _

**Heather:** So you say you saw this “monster” earlier?

 **Tyler:** Yeah! It had these red eyes, and looked all angry at existence itself! It was huge, and it had the most horrifying call, and it had these feathers that-

 **Courtney:** Wait, are you sure you’re not thinking of some animal? We’re looking for a person.

 **Tyler:** This wasn’t just some animal! It was a _monster_!

 **Dave:** I think Topher might mean-

 **Heather:** Does it _matter_ what he _means_? There goes our ace in the hole! Way to disappoint, Major Injury!

 **Tyler:** Hey, this thing’s dangerous! This hermit guy’s just another thing by Chris!

 **Courtney:** And that “just another thing” is the _purpose_ of the challenge!

 **Dave:** Um, aren’t you two on opposite teams anyway?

_Heather and Courtney exchange glances._

**Heather:** We’re sorry, Tyler. It was wrong to be so insensitive about the safety of the people here. You should totally put all your efforts into hunting this other monster!

_Dave cocks his eyebrow suspiciously, but Tyler just nods, cheers loudly, and runs off._

**Tyler:** Woohoo! _Extreme_ monster hunting! Come on, Dave, don’t make me do this alone!

_Dave rolls his eyes, shoots the girls another disapproving glare, and walks off after Tyler._

**Heather:** It sucks to lose our meatshield so easily, but assuming no one finds him-

 **Courtney:** -he’ll just wind up caught and giving us more of an advantage!

_Heather and Courtney smile briefly, before glaring again._

**Heather and Courtney:** I still can’t stand you.

_The white glowing eyes are seen in the background, but vanish when Courtney turns in that direction. The scene shifts to Owen and Duncan._

**Duncan:** You see anything yet?

 **Owen:** Nothing!

 **Duncan:** Well, keep your eyes peeled, bud.

_Owen nods._

**Duncan:** So who do ya think we’re actually hunting down this time?

 **Owen:** There’s no way it’s _not_ Ezekiel, right?

 **Duncan:** Who knows? We might be hunting _me_ down or something.

 **Owen:** I, uh… don’t get it.

 **Duncan:** I’m sure it’ll come back to ya if Noah finds him.

 **Owen:** Wait, you think Noah’d find him? I mean I’m glad that that means my little buddy wins one for his team, but wouldn’t that be bad for u- Oh, _oh_! [ _chuckles_ ] I get it now, that’s funny.   
**Duncan:** Knew you’d figure that one out sooner or later.

_The silhouetted figure that was previously briefly spotted grabbing Dawn and Brick appears behind them, walking silently. It reaches a hand out towards Owen, but upon thinking more about his size, immediately reconsiders the possibility of actually succeeding in whisking him away, continuing to silently follow. The scene shifts to Noah, Izzy, and Eva, who are actually presently holed up in the Lions’ treehouse. Noah has drawn up a chart with the various members of their team. Brick and Dawn’s likenesses are crossed out, and Tyler has a large question mark over him._

**Noah:** I can say with utmost certainty that we’re dealing with Ezekiel again. Why would Chris use the term “feral” to describe anyone short of that walking punchline that was once a man?   
_Izzy scratches her head with her foot, then growls at something outside._

 **Noah:** Point taken. You would’ve been anyone’s second guess if you didn’t have a solid alibi.

 **Eva:** Question. Why are we sitting here talking about it when we could be finding homeschool and hitting him so hard he turns human?

 **Noah:** He isn’t a jukebox, Fonzarelli. Percussive maintenance will do him no good.

 **Izzy:** Doesn’t mean we can’t try!

 **Noah:** [ _sighs_ ] Just make sure not to run off this time.

_Izzy smiles and nods. The scene shifts to Noah and Eva standing in the woods._

**Eva:** [ _raises her arms in exasperation_ ] She ran off again!

 **Noah:** A moment of silence for Ezekiel.

 **Eva:** Yeah, pretty much. We should still probably look for her, though.

_Noah nods. The perspective shifts to Zoey, travelling through the trees, when she hears Duncan and Owen chuckling below. The silhouetted figure is still behind them, regularly chickening out in its attempts to grab Owen. Zoey notices this and gasps._

**Zoey:** [ _opens her mouth, about to call out to Duncan and Owen, when she sees the glow of angry red eyes behind her_ ] Wait, aren’t you-

_Loud noises of pain and misery are heard from the trees, with the camera focusing on Duncan and Owen, who stop in place and turn their heads up towards the sound._

**Duncan:** Oh, snap, that sounds like Zoey.

 **Owen:** You think Zeke got her?!

 **Duncan:** Nah, but he probably tried. [ _chuckles_ ] Big mistake, Zeke! Zoe, just keep that guy busy, and we’ll have this challenge in the bag in no time flat! [ _grinning, runs in the direction from which he overheard Zoey_ ]

_The silhouetted figure’s eyes widen a bit for a moment in confusion, before it casually walks after Duncan. Owen fails to notice, being too busy chuckling at the sound of his own flatulence. The scene briefly cuts to Duncan, being dragged away by the silhouetted figure by his feet, hands tied._

**Duncan:** Ah, nuts...

_The focus returns to Owen, Zoey quickly running onscreen, covered in talon marks._

**Zoey:** [ _panting_ ] Strange person… following… Wait, where’d he go?

 **Owen:** Hey, you actually showed up after disappearing! … I’m not sure that’s ever happened before, hehe…

 **Zoey:** Now’s not the time for remembering old times! That guy who was following you! Did you see where he ran off? And I thought Duncan was with you.

 **Owen:** I thought he ran off to help you keep Zeke secure! Didn’t he run into you?

 **Zoey:** No, he didn’t! And the hermit was following you guys!

 **Owen and Zoey:** Oh, no.

_Back with the silhouetted figure, Duncan, still being dragged along the ground, is trying to untie his hands whenever it isn’t looking at him. It does this often enough that this is no simple task, though. Izzy’s head pokes out from behind a bush, which Duncan notices and the figure fails to._

**Izzy:** [ _squinting and whispering_ ] Aha, got you in my sights! [ _prepares to pounce, when the red eyes appear behind her. She turns and notices_ ] Uh… Hi?

_A loud, violent clucking is heard throughout the island as the mysterious second assailant is revealed to be none other than Clucky the Chicken. Tyler leaps into Dave’s arms in terror, causing Dave to fall over. Eva and Noah look confused. Duncan and the silhouetted figure watch Izzy duke it out with a literal chicken._

**Izzy:** Hi-yah! [ _punts Clucky away with one powerful kick, arms and legs now covered in talon marks_ ] Ahah, now you’ll think twice next time you try to pick a fight with me!

_Izzy turns around just in time to notice the silhouetted figure grab her too. It cuts ahead to the figure dragging Izzy in exactly the same manner as Duncan._

**Duncan:** Nice save.

_Back with Courtney and Heather, the two continue wandering the forest._

**Heather:** Was that… a _chicken clucking_?

 **Courtney:** Yep, Tyler’s hosed.

 **Heather:** Nice knowing the guy.

_The silhouetted figure appears behind Heather, attempting to grab her._

**Courtney:** Look out! [ _tackles Heather out of the way, then kicking the figure in the shin. It goes down, whimpering_ ]

 **Heather:** Did you just… _help_ me?

 **Courtney:** Well… I guess I did!

 **Heather:** Wow… [ _smiles thankfully_ ] Thanks.

 **Courtney:** [ _smiling_ ] Oh, no problem.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** I still can’t believe that _worked_. Does that mean she… _trusted_ me? [ _chuckles_ ] Oh, Heather, how the mighty have fallen. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Tyler and Dave are seen again, Tyler now out of Dave’s arms._

**Tyler:** That must’ve been it! _That_ sound was the monster!

 **Dave:** You mean… You really think that a chicken is the monster?

 **Tyler:** Of _course_ , man! Just look at those things! They’re just horrible!

 **Dave:** Topher, no, that’s dumb. A chicken isn’t a monster. It’s a chicken! Not even scary!

 **Tyler:** Not this again… [sounds more distraught than annoyed]

 **Dave:** Just stop worrying about it and find the monster hermit guy thing!

 **Tyler:** You’re right… I can’t let my team down because of this again! I’ve gotta man up and find this chicken! My fear _won’t_ rule me anymore! _You’re goin’ down, chicken!_ [ _runs off in the direction from which he heard the clucking, looking resolute_ ]

 **Dave:** That’s not what I said _at all_! [ _groans and follows Tyler_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dave:** I’m starting to think that I need a better contestant ally. I wish cousin Noah was here. He always had good ideas about doing stuff! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_The scene shifts to Eva and Noah, who happen to wind up walking behind Courtney and Heather, the latter duo carrying the silhouetted figure by his hands and feet, respectively._

**Eva:** [ _whispering_ ] No way! They found him first! They’re gonna win the challenge if we don’t do something!

 **Noah:** [ _whispering_ ] Be my guest, then.

_Eva nods resolutely before running towards them, growling, fists forming. Courtney and Heather turn around, looking fearfully at the rapidly approaching Eva and starting to run._

**Noah:** [ _calling out to Eva as he runs after the lot of them_ ] Don’t kill them!

 **Heather:** What do we do? She’s _gaining_ on us.

 **Courtney:** I don’t know! Just keep trying to make it! We’re gonna be there soon, I’m sure of it!

_Nearby, Zoey and Owen are calling for Duncan when Heather and Courtney come by._

**Zoey:** Heather, Courtney! Have you seen-

 **Courtney:** Not now! _Eva_ ’s coming! [ _she and Heather blow by, still carrying the silhouetted figure._ ]

 **Zoey:** Huh? [ _turns around, noticing Eva barrelling ever closer_ ] That’s not good… [ _holds out her hands_ ] Um… Stop right now!

_Eva runs into her, Zoey grunting in pain and struggling to hold her back. Owen quickly joins in, providing his weight to give Eva more challenge in pushing them aside. This does, however, leave Zoey sandwiched between him and Eva, and as she smells Owen at such a close proximity, her eyes widen in disturbedness. As a reminder, Owen has had absolutely no access to any personal hygiene items or facilities since at least the beginning of the season. She passes out._

**Owen:** Zoey! Hang in there just a little longer! We just need a little longer before-

 **Noah:** [ _finally catches up, panting and breathing heavily_ ] Way to… catch up to them…

 **Owen:** [ _smiles, completely distracted by Noah’s presence_ ] Noah!

 **Eva:** Hya! [ _finally able to push through due to Owen’s lack of focus, sending him and Zoey flying in different directions._ ]

_Nearby where he and Dawn were hiding during the last challenge, Tyler is standing parallel to Clucky the Chicken, who glares at him, scratching her talons against the ground in preparation for a duel. Dave is angrily pointing at a nonexistent wristwatch as music that wouldn’t be out of place in a cowboy film plays in the background._

**Tyler:** A-alright, chicken, I’m tired of just crying and running whenever I see one of you! You’re a danger to the world, and I’m about to _take you down_!

_Clucky clucks threateningly. Tyler backs away nervously, then steps forward again, staring it down._

**Tyler:** No! No more running! Except _right at you_ ! [ _starts bolting towards the chicken with enough force that Clucky becomes unnerved, clucking in fear_ ]

_At that exact moment, Owen lands right in front of Tyler, causing him to trip and tumble into the hole he’d accidentally unveiled during the last challenge._

**Dave:** Huh? I didn’t realize that was there… [ _walks over, looking down into the hole_ ] Uh, Topher, you alive down there?

 **Tyler:** [ _voice echoing from below_ ] I’ve had worse!   
**Dave:** Alright, awesome! Be right down! [ _nervously begins to ease his way into the hole, before a still-irate Clucky pecks at him and sends him falling in, screaming_ ]

 **Tyler:** [ _offscreen_ ] Oof!

 **Dave:** [ _offscreen_ ] Thanks for catching me!

 **Tyler:** [ _offscreen_ ] No problem…

_Owen gets up, rubbing his head, before looking at the chicken._

**Owen:** Uh, hey there, little guy… or girl maybe! I’m not sure how it is with chickens… Anyway, I’m Owen!

_Clucky decides she likes this large fellow and nests herself in his hair. Owen chuckles._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** [ _petting Clucky and smiling_ ] I really like this chicken! I dunno if Chris will let me keep it, but that’d be really nice! A pet would help with the crippling loneliness of my empty heart! [ _his smile holds for the rest of the confessional_ ] _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_At the challenge briefing area, Courtney and Heather have finally arrived, carrying the silhouetted figure. Chris is already standing there with Chef, the captured contestants all sitting in cages of their own team’s color._

**Chris:** You made it! _Welcome_ back! The Lions win again! This is the best thing _ever_!

 **Courtney** : Wait… how did you beat us here? And when did that cage show up?

 **Chris:** You must’ve lost track of time. We’ve actually been here awhile.

 **Eva:** [ _skids to a halt nearby, Noah, Zoey, and Owen walking in shortly afterwards_ ] Oh, come _on_! We were _this_ close! [ _glares at Zoey_ ] I would’ve totally gotten there first if you hadn’t of shown up.

 **Duncan:** You stalled Eva? That takes some stones.

 **Zoey:** Well, thanks, but I mean, Owen helped… and it, uh, wasn’t pleasant…

 **Owen:** Eheh, sorry, we had to win and this place doesn’t have a shower… [ _reaches upwards and affectionately scratches Clucky_ ]

 _Everyone besides Owen_ _makes various disgusted noises._

 **Chris:** Anyway, before we send one of you Otters off for good, let’s see who this feral hermit really is!

 **Heather:** Look, we all _know_ it’s Ezekiel. Gag him or something before he gives us a disease.

 **Chris:** That obvious a callback challenge, huh? Either way, you’re right. Say a brief hello to the one, the only, the feral, the unhinged, Ezekiel! [ _grabs onto the silhouetted figure’s head, ripping at it and revealing it to be a mask covering the head of Ezekiel_ ]

 **Ezekiel:** [ _is, in fact, perfectly back to normal. His skin is at its original tone, his hair has grown back, and he’s even fashioned a toque out of leaves. His ear, still partially missing, is the only indication of his former monstrosity_ ] Ow! Not so hard, ya _knob_!

_Everyone excluding Chef gasps in fear or surprise, including Chris._

**Chris:** Chef, what gives? You said he was still creepy and stuff!

 **Chef:** You mean he isn’t?

 **Chris:** Point taken, but _still_! Tell me before I get all disappointed like that!

 **Ezekiel:** Uh, can I go home now? They said when they got me at Boney Island that they’d give me a lift if I did this, eh.

 **Chris:** Ugh, fine. We’ll get you the boot with the eliminated contestant.

 **Ezekiel:** Alright! Much as I’m still all _about_ that money, after all that time studying abroad, the Zeke really needs to recharge his batteries before doing another season, yo! I mean, my mom makes these really good omelettes with delicious eggs, and-

_The camera zooms in on Clucky._

_FLASHBACK TIME_

_**Rodney:** Six. Delicious. Eggs. _

_END FLASHBACK_

_Clucky looks absolutely enraged, and attacks Ezekiel. Unlike last time, Chris just chuckles and watches the carnage, which the camera gracefully leaves offscreen._

**Owen:** Clucky, no! It’s _still_ not worth it!

 **Chris:** Anyway, Otters. Get to voting! And then, after we’ve gotten Clucky back to her handlers, I’ll see you all at the elimination ceremony!

 **Heather:** Why did you even bring that chicken here?

 **Chris:** What can I say? The audience loved her, and she hates redheads now! I reserved her thinking Scott’d still be here, too, making the whole “ginger farmboy” thing clearer, but…

 **Zoey:** Oh…

 **Izzy:** [ _simultaneously with Zoey’s line_ ] Ahah, that makes sense!

 **Ezekiel:** Ah! Ow! It’s _painful_ , eh!

_The episode cuts ahead to near the end of the elimination ceremony. Everyone on the Otters but Dawn has received a marshmallow, and Tyler is still not present. Clucky is nowhere to be seen, but Ezekiel is curled up atop a log with the Otters. Chris is still holding a marshmallow._

**Chris:** This is weird. Did I grab an extra marshmallow or something?

 **Brick:** Wait a second… Dawn, we never found Tyler!

 **Dawn:** Well, I wish you luck in locating him without me, as my time here draws to a close.

 **Eva:** What? No, it doesn’t! You’re gonna be _fine_. It’s not like you straight-up bailed on the challenge like Tyler.

 **Dawn:** No, Eva, you fail to understand. I have petitioned our team to get me off of this vile place, posthaste.

 **Eva:** _What_?! Why would you do _that_?!   
**Dawn:** This place is not for me. I should be in _nature_ , or at the very least an artificial location that is not a _pretender_!

 **Chris:** Eheh, and it looks like there was a tie in the votes, too! Two for you, two for Tyler, and one for… Brick!

 **Brick:** I was one of the first to get captured! It was a failure as a leader.

 **Chris:** Eheh, anyway, we’re going to need a tie-breaking challenge between you and Tyler! Dave, get the lighter fluid and chainsaws!

 **Noah:** Uh, hello, he isn’t _here_. How is he supposed to do that?

 **Chris:** Poorly. Looks like Dawn’s gonna be the one to advance! Just as a formality, though, still gonna need Dave to bring those chainsaws.

 **Ezekiel:** Uh, he’s gone too, eh.

 **Chris:** Wait, _what_? After, out of the _goodness of my heart_ , I conscripted him into internship! The ungrateful little…

_A giant boot flies down from above, kicking Chris off of the island. Everyone, after getting passed the initial shock, laughs, though their own laughter dies down after it’s joined by laughter coming from a screen rising from the ground below. On said screen is Dave, holding the million dollar briefcase, sitting in the island’s control room._

**Dave:** Hey, guys! It’s Dave! I’m controlling the island now! I just wanted to tell you guys that it was great to see you all again, even the ones I didn’t really like, because now I’ve got what I deserve! Now as soon as I can figure out how to call Sky with this thing, I will finally fulfill my purpose for getting this!

 **Tyler:** [ _walks into view on the screen_ ] Uh, bro? This isn’t really how you get back into the game…

 **Dave:** Get off the screen, Topher! Didn’t you get it into your thick skull after your last season competing that no one wants you onscreen?!

 **Tyler:** It’s true… _Mal_ gets talked about more than me, now! But still! That’s not cool to just say that, either!

 **Brick:** Tyler! You’re alright, soldier… Wait, how did a late night outing make you reach… wherever you are?

 **Tyler:** Oh, you mean under the island, through a secret entrance in-

_Dave aggressively covers Tyler’s mouth._

**Dave:** Try to find me before then if you _can_ ! Which you _won’t_!

 **Dawn:** But… Even I’m aware of the general area of you-

 **Dave:** You’ll never find me!

 **Chef:** Uh, for your next challenge… Go stop that crazy intern before he sets your prize on fire while I go get Chris! There’s a bunch of ways to get underground, so y’all gotta divide and conquer! [runs off again]

 **Courtney:** You’re just going to bail on a hostile takeover _again_?

 **Dave:** And so the race is on! Will Sky ever answer my calls?

 **Tyler:** Uh… How do you know her number if you said you never talked outside the-

 **Dave:** Shut it, Topher! I’m _trying_ to do an outro! I would _think_ you could appreciate that!

 **Tyler:** Well, then, I’ve got one! Why is Dave being a big jerk? Am I just about to get the money back from him? [ _aggressively reaches for Dave, who pushes him back long enough to press some buttons, allowing a robotic bear endoskeleton to arrive and restrain Tyler_ ] Would you _let go?!_

 **Dave:** Find out how the answer to all of those questions is no, next time on _Total._ [ _presses more buttons. Tyler is swarmed and restrained by several more robotic bear endoskeletons_ ] _Dave. Domination_!

 **Tyler:** That’s a weirder name than _Some Stars_!

 **Dave:** Well, you’re just a terrible co-host!

_When it reaches an expected point for credits to roll, we are treated to a faraway shot of none other than Topher, whistling the Total Drama theme song and sitting alone in a small boat fishing, out on the water._

**Topher:** Hah! And they said you needed people who _liked you_ to host a show! I can _catch_ all the audience I need! [ _his fishing rod seems to catch onto something_ ] A bite? I wonder if it’s a cod, like Irene! [ _aggressively reels it in_ ] Oh, man, it’s a big one! Those classes for hosting deadly fishing shows better not fail me now! [ _revealing it to be Chris he’s caught, hooked by his shirt, who most likely landed in the water nearby. He grins hopefully. Chris’ expression changes from relief at his being saved to openly displeased at his savior_ ]

 

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it continues. Typically this is where we'd comment on the eliminated contestant, but uh... both Dawn and Tyler are still around, you might've noticed. So, yeah. Not much on that front. Not having Scott around didn't have that much impact on this one, though we still ended up straying from our original vision quite a bit. Brick's comment about B's silence still makes me chuckle.


	5. Episode 5 - The Hermit of Pahkitew Island, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An intern has decided to start up a ruckus, interrupting the marshmallow ceremony of the previous episode before anyone could be eliminated, and an impromptu challenge has sprung up from it! Who will be the ones to stop this guy?

**Chris:** [ _standing in the middle of Topher’s boat_ ] Last time, on _Total Drama: Some Stars…_

_Chris looks annoyed at the camera. The video and audio quality are much poorer than normal._

**Chris:** That camera’s a piece of crap, dude! And you call yourself a host to be!

 **Topher:** [ _off-screen_ ] What, you expect the next big name in reality show hosts to lug around his _good_ camera equipment? Onto a _small boat_? No shame if you're going senile, I guess, but- Whoa!

_A loud splash is heard, followed by the camera being pointed at the water. Topher is floating in it, soaked._

**Topher:** My hair!

_Topher appears smaller and smaller on the camera as the sounds of a boat speeding off are heard._

**Chris:** [ _off-screen_ ] Thanks for the ride back, Topher! [ _points the camera at himself_ ] Eh, we’ll just add the intro in post. Now, let’s see what hair products that little pest brought fishing…

_The shot turns to Pahkitew Island’s control room. Tyler, restrained by robotic endoskeletons and gagged in the back, and Dave, in a nice chair, bald and fedora’d as ever, are onscreen._

**Dave:** Last time, on _Total Dave Domination_ …

_Shots of various Dave/Sky moments from the last season are shown. Actually, they’re literally just photos Dave is flipping through and holding in front of the camera sometimes._

**Dave:** I thought that Sky was great, and that we were meant for each other, but then she tore my heart out on national TV. Twice! First she rejects me, then she says she _has a boyfriend!_

 **Tyler:** [ _says something surprised and incoherent_ ]

 **Dave:** I know that sounds bad, but she kissed me for motivation earlier in that same episode! And she never told anyone about the boyfriend until she slammed _him_ on live TV, too! Oh, I hope that Keith guy tore _her_ heart into a million pieces after that.

_Dave shows the camera a photo of himself, nearly getting attacked by Scuba Bear._

**Dave:** Then I had to spend the entire off-season stuck here because no one told me the helicopter was leaving! I thought we were _friends_ , Shawn!

_He shows the camera a picture of Shawn, which has had horns and angry eyebrows crudely drawn on. Then he shows a photo of Chris getting the boot, from the end of the previous episode._

**Dave:** Anyway, after Tyler back there showed me this island underground, I found out the million dollars were being stored down here, and then that you can _totally_ video call people through this, and monitor the whole island! So since I sent Chris off to roaring applause, I've just been hanging out, making this intro, and waiting for Sky to pick up. I mean, I _think_  I was able to tell the robot animals to guard this place in the meantime-I'm honestly not that great with this stuff, so I dunno-but maybe I shouldn't be so distracted… Alright, then! I’m gonna wrap it up! Will Sky pick up already so I can burn this million in front of her lying traitor heartbreaker face? Did I get her number right at all? Why _didn't_ my mom ever let me watch this show? Find out all the answers to this and more, on Total Dave Domination!

_Dave tips his fedora and starts singing the shortened version of the theme, as seen in All Stars and Pahkitew Island. All lyrics are replaced by the word “Dave,” and he flips through photos of shots from Some Stars’ opening, his own head crudely pasted over everyone else’s, and the shot of himself being annoyed by Beardo and Leonard in Pahkitew Island’s opening. He fails to notice a loud banging at the door, which Tyler glances at hopefully, and ends the “opening” with a guitar riff._

**Dave:** [ _after singing, finally notices the banging_ ] Huh, what’s that?

_\--Instead of the actual theme song, a black background with white text saying “a little while earlier” fills the screen for a few seconds--_

_The entire remaining cast, bar Tyler and including Ezekiel and Clucky the Chicken, is standing in the elimination area, in the wake of the ending to last episode._

**Owen:** You mean that intern’s gonna burn the money?!

 **Courtney:** What? _No_! I haven’t even had a chance to win it yet!

 **Heather:** And I haven’t had the chance to get what’s rightfully mine! [ _glares at Ezekiel_ ] All thanks to _someone_ here!

 **Ezekiel:** [ _offended-sounding_ ] What? _World Tour_ was _my_ season, eh!

 **Courtney:** Well, how do we know you’re not just gonna try to snatch up my money nine episodes early?

 **Ezekiel:** ...that’s a good idea! Thanks for makin’ me think of it, eh! [ _points in no particular direction_ ] Turns out the Zeke still has a little juice in his batteries after all! [ _runs off, accidentally tripping over the cliff that was the former site of the Cannon of Shame_ ]

_Everyone just watches this for a moment, before returning to their conversation._

**Eva:** So. Anyone have a plan?

 **Izzy:** Ooh, me! Me! Just let _me_ take care of it!

 **Noah:**  Notion seconded, so long as you don't leave any bodies in your wake.

 **Owen:** [ _raises his hands_ ] Thirded! You can totally do it, Izzy!

 **Courtney:** No! Then who’s going to make sure _she_ doesn’t burn everything for fun?! Even more importantly, that would mean _our_ team loses the new challenge. Not that you seem to  _care_ about us winning, Owen.

 **Brick:** There’s a time for words and a time for action! While I don’t doubt Izzy’s combat and espionage skills, that gives us no excuse to keep standing around! What we need to do is stick together and seek out entrances into the island’s underground!

 **Noah:** Hate to interrupt your leaderly orders, Private Pyle, but numerical advantage really won’t-

 **Brick:** [ _sounding extremely offended by Noah’s choice in character comparison_ ] Hey! If the whole island is under this guy’s thumb, there’s no way he won’t have robot animals at us from all angles! Strength in numbers!

 **Noah:** The whole thing will be congested if we don’t split up, and time is of the essence.

_Duncan takes one look at the Otters arguing, then turns to his team._

**Duncan:** Wanna get a headstart before these jokers finally cut it out?

_Every Lion nods or mutters some note of agreement, before all but Owen walk offscreen._

**Owen:** Come on, Clucky, let’s go save us the day!

_He picks up and pets Clucky, before chuckling and walking by. He happens to pass Dawn, who suddenly smiles and follows as he walks past._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Dawn:** After all of my suffering, an actual, organic, non-robotic animal makes an appearance. This must be a sign that I am to follow the Lions! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Dawn walks next to Owen, slightly behind the rest of the Lions, still smiling._

**Dawn:** I noticed that earlier you called this fine feathered friend “Clucky” before even learning it was truly her name!

 **Owen:** Well, I guess she just really looked like a Clucky, y’know?

 **Dawn:** [ _nodding_ ] Yes, definitely! She has an aura that says so much about her. [ _looks at Clucky, suddenly more serious-looking_ ] You have faced much difficulty in your life, and everywhere you go you’re forced into aggression. You don’t deserve the branding of “psychopathic chicken” the world has given you.

_Clucky clucks in surprise, before nuzzling her head against Dawn’s hand. Owen smiles at the exchange._

**Dawn:** Yes, worry not, Clucky. I would not bring harm to you!

 **Dawn:** [ _sounding much more chipper now_ ] I actually know of an entrance to this vile underbelly we seek out.

 **Owen:** [ _gasps_ ] You _do_? Why’re you telling us, then?

 **Dawn:** Much of your team has kind hearts, even if they continue to deny it. Coupled with the fact that my elimination after this episode is likely inevitable regardless, I see no reason not to offer you assistance in rescuing our friend.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Owen:** I don’t know much about that Dawn girl, but I’m glad she looks happy for once! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Owen:** Ahah, thanks! That’s actually really cool of you..! Wait, when you say “much of your team…”

_Dawn turns her head towards Heather and Courtney._

**Heather:** So how are we gonna make that Dave kid drop the money?

 **Courtney:** Maybe we threaten to lock him in that control room with Owen!

_Heather and Courtney both laugh in a friendly manner._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Heather:** [ _slides her finger across her neck and makes a slicing sound_ ] What a sucker. I've got her right- _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** [ _pounds her fist into her palm repeatedly_ ] -where I want her! _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Duncan:** I don’t think Owen’s gonna fit in that hole in the ground.

 **Zoey:** Then you all find him another way. Just like what I'm going to do for myself, on my _own_ , for me! I think there was a bigger hole down somewhere last season for you guys… [ _does a completely egregious somersault offscreen_ ]

 **Duncan:** Hey, don’t just- Ah, whatever.

 **Heather:** So who’s stuck looking for another route for Owen, and who’s actually doing the challenge?

 **Courtney:** [ _hand raised_ ] I’ll go with Owen! He’ll probably just cost us the challenge again if someone who can’t keep him in line doesn’t follow him.

 **Duncan:** The guy held off _Eva_ just a little bit ago.

 **Courtney:** Point taken. Either way, I’m going with him. Better than winding up stuck with one of you two. Er, no offense, Heather.

 **Heather:** None taken. I would say exactly the same about you.

 **Owen:** [ _hands Clucky over to Dawn_ ] Take good care of her!

_Dawn nods, pets Clucky, and leans in closely._

**Dawn:** [ _whispering_ ] Be careful around her.

 **Owen:** [ _whispering_ ] Will do! [ _turns around and walks off with Courtney_ ]

_Back at the Elimination ceremony area, Brick and Noah are still arguing about whether they should stay one unit or split into groups._

**Eva:** Ah, forget this! Come on, Izzy, we’re doing something we should have done _awhile_ ago.

 **Izzy:** Alright, finally! Let’s get in on the action!

_Eva and Izzy leave together, running._

**Brick:** Hey, wait..! We need to stay a-

 **Noah:** I think you've lost that battle, _sir_. Now can we just hurry up and save Tyler?

 **Brick:** You’re right! This entire disagreement has been trivial and irresponsible!

 **Noah:** Spare us the self-deprecation.

_Noah and Brick walk off. In the underground control room, Dave is seen sitting in front of the computer._

**Dave:** Ahahaha, just as planned… [ _grins maliciously_ ]

_A nearby printer prints out a few of the photos shown in the episode’s intro._

**Dave:** I can totally make the intro to the new version of the show with this! [taps his chin] Now, as for the lyrics of the theme song…

 **Tyler:** [ _something incoherent_ ]

 **Dave:** No, that’s really not me enough, y’know?

_Back with Zoey, she comes across a rather large tree._

**Zoey:** That thing’s huge! [ _groans_ ] It’s not what I need, though! [ _squints at the tree_ ] Wait, is it… Moving? [ _looks down, noticing that the tree is coming out of a rather large hole in the ground_ ] Wait a minute… There’s the entrance! How am I supposed to get in there, though? It's not like the island's malfunctioning right now...

_Eva and Izzy run by, quickly spotting the tree and ascertaining the same thing._

**Izzy:** Ooh, should I get a chainsaw? Chris said some were lying around!

_Izzy laughs and pulls at a nonexistent chord of a pretend chainsaw, before making motor noises with her mouth._

**Eva:** No, just move over, I've got this.

_Eva walks towards the tree, and thus, Zoey._

**Eva:** That means you, too. Do you understand the phrase “out of the way?”

 **Zoey:** [ _expression softens in worry_ ] Uh, yeah… [ _backs away a bit_ ]

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Zoey:** [ _messing with her headband a bit_ ] Being a hardcore lone wolf commando is hard. And didn't I join this show to _make_ friends in the first place? How am I gonna have more people to talk to about movies they've never heard of if no one wants to talk to me? _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Eva wraps her arms around the base of the tree, and, over the span of a few seconds of grunting, manages to completely uproot it, freeing up the hole. She tosses the tree away._

**Zoey:** Whoa.

_Izzy just smiles and claps._

**Izzy:** Alright, record time!

 **Eva:** Let’s just get going.

_Izzy nods, before the two of them jump into the hole, Zoey following shortly after. Back at the former launch site of the cannon of shame, Ezekiel has finally climbed back up, breathing heavily._

**Ezekiel:** I’m gonna get that money from ya, Dave! It’s mine! And now nothing’s gonna stop me from getting to ya and winning this- [ _the aforementioned tree slams him in the face, knocking him back off_ ] Ow! That ear’s still sensitive, man!

_Owen and Courtney are standing in front of a large body of water, which Shawn and Jasmine braved last season. They see the fins robotic sharks in the water._

**Courtney:** So… You wanna go first?

 **Owen:** No, no, after you!

 **Courtney:** Oh, I insist!

 **Owen:** Can’t we just go together?

 **Courtney:** Right… at the same time. That’s probably the most logically sound decision.

 **Owen:** We can keep each other safe from the sharks!

 **Courtney:** My point exactly! So… On three.

 **Owen:** One…

 **Courtney:** Two…

O _wen and Courtney glance between one another, neither being particularly willing to say “three!” and risk actually entering shark-infested waters. The scene switches again to Duncan, Heather, Dawn, and Clucky, still in her arms, by the hole in the ground formerly covered by a rock._

 **Dawn:** Right here! This is the place!

 **Heather:** Thanks for winning us the challenge, Weird Otter Girl!

 **Dawn:** Oh, don’t mention it.

_Heather is the first to jump into the hole, shortly followed by Duncan. Dawn looks at Clucky for a moment, thoughtfully._

**Dawn:** I believe that Sam once suggested this could work…

_Dawn holds Clucky over her head before jumping down as well, falling much more slowly than the Lions preceding her as Clucky flaps her wings a bit. Back with Eva, Zoey, and Izzy, the trio has landed in the island’s mechanical underbelly. Dave appears on a screen which descends from the ceiling._

**Dave:** No, that’s not it… Where is the drawing function? I need to make the new and improved cast list!

_Dave goes silent, looking at Zoey, Eva, and Izzy. The camera zooms in on Zoey._

**Dave:** Oh, Sky, you picked up! Perfect!

 **Zoey:** Um…

 **Izzy:** Whoa, this guy is out there!

 **Dave:** At least I’m not blowing us all up, Scarlett!

 **Eva:** Don’t give her ideas!

 **Dave:** Anyway! Good news, Sky! I finally got that money! And you know what _that_ means! [ _shows the iconic million dollar briefcase to the camera_ ] It’s all gonna burn so _you_ can’t get it!

 **Tyler:** [ _something incoherent_ ]

 **Dave:** You’re right, Topher, I forgot to get a _way_ to burn it! That was silly! Uh, hey, I saw that Samey and Shawn had lighters, so you think you can just send one of them over here?

 **Zoey:** Uh… no? And I kinda already won once, so…

_Dave starts crying._

**Dave:** W-well, fine, then! Be that way! See if I care! I’m just gonna keep looking for a way to burn this!

 **Zoey:** Um… is this some sort of symbolic thing? Burning mainstream media or whatever?

 **Dave:** What? No! It’s so you can’t have it!

 **Tyler:** [ _something shocked-sounding and incoherent_ ]

 **Zoey:** Oh. Not a fan of _All Stars_ or something?

 **Dave:** Never actually watched it. Mom always blocked this show and stuff. But… didn’t Chris say Shawn won last time?

_Zoey shoots a confused-looking Eva and Izzy, who had just been watching for the past while, a glance. They nod and run off, which Dave completely fails to notice. The episode returns to Owen and Courtney, still hesitant to enter the water._

**Courtney:** Well, Mr. "Official Leader," _lead_ the way! Unless, of course, you want to forfeit the leaderly position.

 **Owen:** I don’t even think I _can_ do that. And didn't we just agree to go in together?

 **Courtney:** I change my mind sometimes! Now get _going_! [ _shoves Owen into the water_ ]

 **Owen:** Whoa! [ _sinks downwards, before opening his eyes, noticing a grate covering what is presumably another entrance to the mechanical underbelly, this one noticeably wider than the others. He chuckles underwater, only to look more worried once his eyes fix themselves on several robotic sharks, who all return the favor and start swimming towards him angrily._ ]

_Courtney dives into the water, looking a bit more sure now. As soon as she’s reached the grate and begun to open it, she notices Owen, who looks at her pleadingly, completely surrounded by robotic sharks. She looks between him, the sharks, and the grate, before turning away from him and continuing to work on the grate, ignoring their closing in and completely obstructing her view of Owen._

_[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Courtney:** If I went after him, then the sharks would have noticed me, and it would have been a risk of time _and_ personal safety. Owen’s been slowing our whole team down all season, anyway. Now even _if_ we lose, there’s no way we’re gonna wind up voting someone out who’s _useful_. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

_Meanwhile, above the shore, Noah and Brick have reached the same spot, peering in._

**Noah:** Last season there were sharks in there. Do you see any?

 **Brick:** Negative… [ _raises unibrow_ ] Sh-should I?

 **Noah:** [ _an unusual amount of concern in his voice_ ] You don’t think they _got_ someone, do you?

 **Brick:** [ _hardens his expression, nervousness still in his voice_ ] Then we've no time to lose!

_After barely half a moment’s hesitation, Brick leaps into the water. Noah follows suit after a moment, albeit much more slowly out of a lesser physical capacity. Brick immediately heads towards the sharks swarming around who he doesn't realize is Owen (not that it matters to him who it is; he'll try to save them regardless), whereas Noah turns towards Courtney, glares, and swims towards her. Brick quickly starts trying to pull the sharks away from the contestant they have trapped, while Noah, looking incensed, grabs Courtney’s shoulder to gain her attention, before pointing up at the writhing robotic mass. She looks up and just tries to move the grate harder. Brick also seems to be having a difficult time with wrestling the robotic sharks away._

_FLASHBACK TIME_

[CONFESSIONAL] _ **Shawn:** I’m glad peeing in your pants while underwater goes totally unnoticed! What happens in the pond _ stays _in the pond._ [END CONFESSIONAL]

_END FLASHBACK_

_The robotic sharks smell something and comically swim away, while Brick grins triumphantly, only to look somewhat disgusted and mortified by something the cameras gracefully leave offscreen, which can best be described as a very badly injured Owen. Noah, formerly preoccupied with trying to get Courtney to help save whoever was accosted by the sharks, looks at the sight and screams underwater, before swimming hurriedly in Brick and Owen’s direction. Courtney rolls her eyes and finally gets the grate open, swimming in and falling through into the mechanical underbelly, while Brick and Noah bring Owen onto shore._

**Noah:** Is he going to be alright?

 **Brick:** Unlikely, but people have eventually recovered from worse injuries in this show’s past.

_Owen groans offscreen._

**Noah:** Owen, just try not to do put too much energy into anything except staying alive. Brick, I trust you’ll give some very choice words to some _very_ choice people.

_Brick shakes his head._

**Brick:** I’m still our leader, and I say we stick together and both take care of our injured co-competitor. I trust that someone will make that rogue intern answer for this!

_Back underground, Courtney is standing in front of a rapidly-shifting field of lasers._

**Courtney:** Seriously?! Who did they even expect to get down here?! [ _sighs_ ] Now’s not the time to start complaining. You can do this!

_To the tune of fittingly intense music, Courtney starts to work her way through the lasers, easily dodging them, albeit advancing slowly due to the aforementioned rapid shifting. The scene cuts to Duncan, Heather, and Dawn, all standing outside the control room’s door. Duncan bangs on the door. Dawn looks disturbed about something._

**Duncan:** ‘course the guy isn't answering. Why would he?

 **Heather:** It sounds like he’s talking to someone in there.

_Duncan rolls his eyes and looks towards Dawn upon hearing a concerned cluck from Clucky, noticing her look._

**Duncan:** What spooked _you_?

 **Dawn:** I sense a disturbance… Someone is hurt.

 **Heather:** Someone hurt on _this_ show? You don’t say!

 **Dawn:** No, I mean… _gravely_.

 **Duncan:** Oh, snap. Anyone gonna die?

 **Dawn:** I don’t believe so…

 **Heather:** Okay, that sucks, but can we focus on Dave in there? If they're going to live, 

_The camera shows the inside of the control room, Dave still sobbing incoherently as Zoey watches from the screen, awkwardly, and Tyler, still restrained, still making incoherent noises._

**Zoey:** Uh… I’m just gonna be fully honest with you, I’m not this “Sky” girl.

 **Dave:** You’re… you’re not? But, everyone else is…

 **Zoey:** No, but you've clearly spent a lot of time thinking about her, and it’s just ruling your mind! You even still think this is the same group as before!

 **Dave:** Do you mean that... it isn't?

 **Zoey:** You’re the only one from last season on the island!

 **Dave:** I… then… Topher…

 **Zoey:** You mean Tyler? Sure, he’s an obscure candidate-

 **Tyler:** [incoherent noise of offense, yet wistful agreement]

 **Zoey:** -so that’s even _more_ reason not to keep getting your friend’s name wrong! He’s had a lot of trouble with that!

 **Dave:** But… I… [ _eye twitches_ ] Then… that guy who I thought was _me_ … Oh, no!

 **Zoey:** What?

 **Dave:** It was my cousin Noah! He was _totally_ here!

 **Zoey:** Oh… That’s gotta be rough to realize.

 **Dave:** You’re probably right, though… I need to get this past me!

 **Zoey:** [ _smiling_ ] Yeah!

 **Dave:** All I've gotta do now is bury this whole issue by finally doing what I've been trying to, and then I can get back to my life and stuff! Maybe I’ll even play for another season!

 **Zoey:** That’s it! [ _frowns_ ] Wait, what was that about “finally doing what you've been trying to” first?

 **Dave:** I’ll move on _after_ I've seen Sky finally in despair! And if that involves keeping up with plan A, then so be it!

 **Zoey:** That’s the exact opposite of what I-

_The screen goes off._

**Dave:** You know what I forgot I was doing, Tyler? Make an introduction to a show! I think I’ll get back to that!

_Tyler rolls his eyes. The camera shows Courtney, nearly having finally navigated through all the lasers._

**Courtney:** Almost… there…

 **Eva:** [ _from offscreen_ ] Izzy, that is the _wrong way_!

_Izzy leaps into Courtney’s view, surprising her enough for her to flinch a bit, a security laser just barely missing her._

**Izzy:** Hey, Courtney’s playing with the lasers! We should, too!

_Eva groans._

**Eva:** Just don’t set anything off. [ _runs back in the correct direction_ ]

 **Courtney:** Hey, wait! Don’t leave me with-

 **Izzy:** [ _dodging lasers right beside Courtney_ ] Sup?

 **Courtney:** Ugh.

_Dawn, Clucky, Duncan, and Heather are still standing right outside of the control room. Dawn’s face lights up._

**Dawn:** I have an idea!

_Cut to inside the control room again. Dave has just finished singing an impromptu alternative version of the Total Drama theme song, and heard banging on the door._

**Dave:** Huh? What’s that?

 **Dawn:** Lighter delivery!

 **Dave:** Oh, finally! That Zoey girl sure is understanding! [ _presses a button to open up the control room’s doors, smiling hopefully, adjusting his fedora, and watching as it opens_ ]

_Duncan cracks his knuckles, flashing a grin of his own. Clucky clucks aggressively at Tyler, but Dawn’s embrace prevents her from attempting to start round 2 of her earlier bout with the jock. Heather yawns, not really having anything relevant to do in this plan, only to be pushed out of the shot with a surprised yelp by Eva’s sudden appearance, glaring at Dave and joining Duncan in knuckle-cracking. The scene cuts back to Brick and Noah, now joined by Ezekiel. He puts a comically small bandage on Owen, still offscreen._

**Ezekiel:** That should do the trick!

 **Noah:** Countless bandages. Someone get this man a PhD.

 **Ezekiel:** ...I don't think you can become a doctor like that.

_Noah rolls his eyes, and the sound of a boat’s motor is heard from afar. Noah, Brick, and Ezekiel look towards the water, seeing the boat Chris stole from Topher, wrecked and being towed by the boat of losers, upon which are Chris and Chef Hatchet. Chris’ hair is still dripping a bit._

**Chris:** Remind me to bring in some better interns.

 **Brick:** Chris! We have a man injured over here!

 **Chris:** [ _chuckles_ ] Oh, get _out_. I _missed_ the big moment? So who’s the poor sucker?

 **Noah:** It’s _Owen_.

 **Chris:** No _way_! One of the _Lions_?

 **Dave:** [ _from offscreen_ ] H-hey, let me go! I need to exact my revenge so I can _move past_ my revenge!

 _Dave is being dragged by Duncan and Eva, the rest of the contestants following them from behind. Everyone except Tyler and Courtney, including Dave, looks shocked,_ _concerned , and generally mortified at Owen’s status._

 **Tyler:** Sweet freedom! Alri-Oh, snap, Owen!

_Tyler now joins aforementioned ranks of horrified Owen-viewers._

**Chris:** [ _leans in close to Owen_ ] Sorry ‘bout whatever it is that happened, bro. Must _suck_.

 **Owen:** [ _something unintelligible. He is covered head-to-toe in comically small bandages_ ]

 **Chris:** I don’t think the lawyers are gonna let you keep competing, no matter how hilarious that would be! [ _walks over to Dave_ ] And as for you! You wanna be in the game so bad, buddy? Huh? Do ya?!

 **Dave:** Um… yes..?

 **Chris:** Well, _too bad_! I woulda considered it if you didn’t cause so much damage to part of the meal ticket team, try to destroy the money, and ruined my hair! I don’t even want you as an intern for the rest of the season!

 **Ezekiel:** Uh, long as you’re handing out trips off the island, could I get the trip promised back-

 **Chris:** Ugh… Between this, finishing the elimination ceremony from last episode… I don’t really like you, either, so I'll be happy to see you gone!

 **Ezekiel:** [ _raises arms triumphantly_ ] Finally, eh!

 **Tyler:** Wait, elimination ceremony? What’s that about?

 **Noah:** The challenge last episode. The one we lost. You and Dawn were in the bottom two.

 **Tyler:** Oh, snap! I forgot to vote! [runs off]

_On that note, the cast returns to the campfire ceremony. Everyone is sitting in the exact same spot as they were last episode, with the exception of Tyler’s presence sitting on a stump, Owen’s being in a proper full body cast, and Dave being tied up and sitting on the ground, next to Noah. Chris is holding a plate with one marshmallow. Literally everyone's gaze is sympathetically pointed towards Owen._

**Dave:** Uh, Noah…

 **Noah:** Not. Now.

 _[CONFESSIONAL]_ **Noah:** Why did I knowingly subject myself to a boat trip cramped in a bag and come to this island? Alongside the obvious monetary incentive, and what amounted to conscription, I was partially motivated by ensuring that Dave would be able to leave in one piece. Then he did… pretty much everything he’s done this season. At least I can consider that mission accomplished. _[END CONFESSIONAL]_

 **Chris:** Since Tyler and Dawn were left in the bottom two, the person being eliminated for last episode should be obvious now that one of you has placed your vote. Tyler, however, just voted for someone at random, so the tie-breaker challenge is still on! Chef, chainsaws, lighter fluid!

 **Dawn:** Er… that won’t be necessary.

 **Eva:** Dawn, quit trying to get yourself eliminated already!

 **Dawn:** Eva, you fear your ability to control yourself without my presence, yet you have done fantastically in keeping your temper in check even in my absence. I have the utmost faith in you!

 **Eva:** Wow, you… really mean that? Thanks.

 **Dawn:** You’re very welcome. Chris, I volunteer for elimination!

_Chef Hatchet walks onscreen, carrying Chris’ requested items, before groaning and walking away, mumbling something about a lack of respect._

**Chris:** Ugh, _fine_. Be _boring_. At least I get to make up for it with using the boot four times in a row! Since you’re so enthused, you first!

 **Eva:** Thanks for everything, Dawn.

 **Dawn:** Oh, you need not even mention it. [ _leans in and whispers_ ] I suggest you tell her as soon is possible.

_The camera shows Izzy, spinning on her head atop the stump she was sitting on._

**Eva:** [ _unibrow raised in slight surprise, whispers_ ] What are you _talking_ about?

_Chris produces Dave’s old controller before Dawn can elaborate, pressing a button and leaving Dawn kicked off of the island, a giant boot swinging down and sending her away._

**Owen:** [ _something unintelligible_ ]

 **Chris:** Don’t worry. You’ll _probably_  hit land! [ _presses a button again_ ]

_An even bigger boot kicks the quite-injured Owen off of the island, Chris sighing wistfully._

**Ezekiel:** Yo, yo, yo, for now, the Zeke says his goodbye, but when I come back, I’m gonna-

_A giant boot sends Ezekiel off._

**Ezekiel:** Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

 **Dave:** So, uh… Noah… Sorry about the whole “causing all of this” thing. Does it make you less mad if I tell you I had nothing to do with the thing with Owen and the sharks?

 **Noah:**  I suppose. Now, what have we learned?

 **Dave:** Uh… don’t forcibly take over an entire mechanical island?

 **Noah:** Close enough.

 **Dave:** Alright, good!

 **Noah:** Our whole family’s been up in arms since you haven’t come back.

 **Dave:** You mean they missed me? [ _smiles_ ]

 **Noah:** I was shocked too.

 **Dave:** Well, either way, no way they can deny it now! Next time I show up on this show, I’ll be a player, and you can bet I’ll outrank you, and Sky!

_A giant boot swings down and kicks Dave off of the island. He laughs as he flies off._

_The scene shifts throughout the island a short time later. Everyone, while finally able to get back to sleep, is clearly restless about everything that just happened. Owen's painful removal has left nearly everyone hurting. Courtney and Chris (the latter in a very fancy-looking place, most definitely off of the island) seem to be the only ones sleeping soundly. Time cuts ahead again to around sunrise, Chris sipping a cup of coffee and standing at the beach._

**Chris:** And with that, this episode draws to a close. Will Courtney be forgiven for the thing with Owen? What did Dawn mean with that advice? Will I find some new interns by next episode? Find out next time, on _Total. Drama_ _-_

 **Topher:** [ _from offscreen_ ] Chris!

 **Chris:**  Oh, no.

 **Topher:** [ _hiding his soaking wet hair beneath a bucket hat. Walks on camera next to him_ ] I was gonna ask for my boat back, but what's this about needing people on the show?

 **Chris:** [ _raises his finger in objection, eyebrows lowered in anger, but pauses and thinks before saying something_ ] Look, promise not to press charges for the boat if I let you on?

_Topher, grinning enthusiastically, nods._

**Chris:** Great! [ _frowns_ ] Wait… you're not  _completely_ stupid. Lemme just get that in writing before we see how you look in red.

 **Topher:** Alright! The Topher Experience continues!

 **Chris:** [ _mildly offended_ ] You're… not upset about being an intern?

 **Topher:** Screentime's screentime! Even if I have to claw my way up, I'm gonna be noticed! [ _looks into the camera and smiles_ ] Catch more of me, Topher, next time on  _Total_ -

 **Chris:**  [ _glares_ _, shoves Topher out of frame_ ] Don't push your luck, Topher! [ _looks into the camera and smiles_ ] Catch more of the people who  _really_ matter, next time on  _Total. Drama. Some Stars!_

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, here is where the differences begin to pile up. The first differences are largely irrelevant to Scott's elimination: this episode wasn't going to be a continuation of the previous one, and Dawn was going to already have been gone at the end of the fourth episode. Guess I was just hesitant to see another underused Revenge Character booted so early. Actually making a difference this chapter is the fifth person eliminated. Originally, the sharks were slated to be taken on by Courtney and Scott, the callous betrayal being all on Scott, leaving Courtney forced into a non-standard elimination. Owen, on the other hand, was gonna make it pretty far, as per usual for the big guy. Owen, namely Noah's slamming of Izzy to him, was also planned to eventually cause a rupture in the implied alliance between himself, Eva, and Izzy. Obviously, this could never come into fruition.  
> Another thing that we were heavily considering was having Dave replace whoever was eliminated in this chapter, filling in for them and becoming a legitimate contestant. As much as we wanted to do that, however, his method of stealing the show from Chris would in no way in Hell leave Chris feeling generous. If we did find a way to write him in, however, he would have made his way all the way to the final four, and he and Courtney would have played opposing antagonists.


	6. Episodes 6-14: Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the authors, an apology, and an outline of what was never written, yet was intended to be.

Though it saddens us to say it to say it, especially after so many months of silence on this site and hearing a few positive things about our fic, it's painfully clear by now that we won't be able to make it to the end of the story. I figured that, now that we were getting close to the story being a year old, and with the recent airing of _Ridonculous Race_  (which Dollarino and I are enjoying significantly more than expected, as of six episodes in), I ought to at least acknowledge it.

Since using google drive is the only reliable way Dollarino and I knew of at the time to collaborate on things, it's what we use. This... creates an issue, since the way it formats things is irreconcilably different with that of Ao3's formatting systems, and we would end up having to manually go back and edit in every bit of bolded, italicized, underlined text whenever we wanted to post a chapter. After about five chapters, neither of us wanted to be the one to do it next, so, in short, we were both lazy.

We did have eight episodes finished (and a ninth started and sadly abandoned) though, alongside a plot skeleton for how we had originally planned for the series to go (things started to go off our original plan as early as the third chapter, which we actually pointed out at the time).

I hope that this sort of thing is acceptable, since this is basically going to be a glorified link-dump for what we did have finished but never transferred over, followed by what I can remember of our not-written-out "new" plans after the old ones went out the window.

So, without further adieu, I give you... A blatant link-dump.

[Episode 6 - A Song of Lions and Otters](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12iFPDBJ5WjpCHeqpmF3XcEScSPsGW8ljfzbcbLvo2u8/edit)

[Episode 7 - The Raft Team Effort](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SPm7kZ9ZhzqMImbepthnJtEu9C4kXq69mWcJXB5MaSY/edit)

[Episode 8 - Trouble E-Merges](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h99C3GjsuyDniEH1slkghocX9XZk1RGvwQzgbZfOhU0/edit?usp=docs_home) (I honestly wasn't all too satisfied with how we handled Mike and Zoey's breakup, but I didn't want to dwell on it too much. At this point, I still expected the rest of this to see the light of day at a reasonable time)

[Episode 9 - Doubly Dashing (Incomplete)](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KZELeQxzdZCPVhZW9_UiMNwRtmG1lI5w9xAkHihLT44/edit)

[The original Idea Board](https://docs.google.com/document/d/11LP1bBufb8fxVOtjfhP6pPW70N1ddSIZH7UVTdLQGWU/edit) (much coarser language than the stories)

And compared to the idea board, what was planned on the road we traveled:

  * The challenges that were planned probably wouldn't have changed, though it did happen a few times (as with Episode 6 where only Chris actually knew the parameters, and the "scavenger hunt for ingredients" segment that would have been added to Episode 9).
  * Due to Heather's sticking around into the lategame, the overarching conflict for the last third of the series would have primarily been between "Brick's" (effectively Noah's) alliance, and Eva, who would be the main antagonist by virtue of everybody treating her like the juggernaut she is.
  * Heather and Zoey would choke up in the latter part of the ninth challenge, managing to fall all the way behind despite winning the advantage for their speed in the scavenger hunt for ingredients. Despite Brick's insistence on keeping the more moral player in, Noah accurately convinces the rest of the bunch that Zoey is a more dangerous opponent. This creates yet another rift in an alliance that otherwise would have encompassed the majority of the remaining players, as well as throwing Tyler's loyalties into conflict.
  * With a physical challenge (one highly dependent on strength) in Episode 10, Noah doesn't even bother trying to sabotage Eva today, insisting he and Tyler keep their heads in the game. Brick, for the second time in this timeline, sacrifices a shot at victory to save the lives of his ostensible enemies, dooming him to come in last in the skiing challenge, but also mending his friendship with Noah and Tyler in the process. While he and Noah are still friends, Tyler realizes he has had enough of Noah's alliance.
  * Even without Tyler's help, the "build a new shelter" challenge isn't too bad for Noah's mind. However, we probably would have added conflict by giving another appearance to Team Sha-Victory, each being tasked with taking out their rival's shelter. If they succeed using only their bare hands, wits, and what they can find on the island, and are one of the first two to do so, their rival will be eliminated. Jo and Lindsay fail to stop Eva and Noah, while Lightning and Beth take down Tyler and Heather's.
  * The penultimate episode becomes an aftermath, a discussion with all of the booted competitors. Those eliminated discuss their run on the show, who they're rooting for, and everyone gets a chance to speculate about what Eva and Noah have in store for their final challenge. Dave and Topher also probably would've reappeared.
  * "Fashionably Musical Chessboxing" still winds up the topic of the final battle, the second edition of Brains vs. Brawn to grace Total Drama.
  * In short, from 13th to finalists, the elimination order is  ** _Mike, Anne Maria, Scott, Dawn, Owen, Izzy, Courtney, Duncan, Zoey, Brick, Heather, Tyler, Noah/Eva._** If I had made it to the end, the "canonical" winner would be voted for by whatever readerbase there was, and chapter 14 would have solely consisted of the other finalist's version of the ending. [If you still care enough to say which of the characters is/was your favorite, or who you wanted to win...](http://strawpoll.me/5463099)



Funny enough, we had vague ideas for an entire epic trilogy, alongside the promo for a  _Revenge of the Action_  miniseries/"movie" in Episode 7, one involving a rehash of _World Tour_ on a boat, one involving a concept actually very similar to what  _Ridonculous Race_  is, except the duos don't travel around. They just have various challenges on Boney Island, but actually get voted off one at a time, pairs merging into new duos whenever two teams of one are formed. Basically, we had a  _lot_ of ideas for these characters and a general idea of how long each would take. The Boney Island one was actually the first thing conceived out of all of this, but we decided to put that aside when we realized how huge the cast was.

Here's hoping we can write something in the future. Thanks for reading all of this, especially if you were around before we dropped off the map. Sorry our fic ended up like so many others, but this is the type of story I would hate to leave in suspense forever.

-Bored_Commentator


End file.
